Things To Do This Weekend.

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough.

If you've ever been on a dating site, you know there's always a space where you can tell would-be partners in advance what types of things you're looking for. Most of the time it's things like “non-smoker,” or “must love Jesus.” And usually you can be pretty confident that, yes, there is somebody out there, somewhere, looking for those same things.

As for this guy and his ridiculous list of deal breakers, though? Chances are he won't find a match for, an eternity.

Lucky for you there's a lot of cool ass events happening around DFW where you can meet likeminded people. Maybe one of these places is where you'll meet your future lover and can tell us all about it. — Chase Whale

Friday
!!! at Dada
There are few things more annoying than people who are overly enthusiastic on the Internet (like, say, the people on Twitter who capitalize the first letter of every word in a sentence). But dance-punk band !!! is fully deserving of each and every one of its exclamation points — and probably a few more, at that. Take the band's current single, “One Girl/One Boy,” for example: It's a totally groovilicious, upbeat jam. Tonight, !!! will be joined by Wild Moccasins. Oh yeah, and don't be taken aback when the pants come off. That's supposed to happen. — Zoe Mattioli

Southern Music Fest at North Star Dragway
For a full Texan experience, the Southern Music Fest will let you channel your inner that by the steak cook-off. Maybe that isn't enough for you, why not listen to a bunch of country singers, camping and even a good 'ol train ride for the kiddos. This two-day event includes music guests Bleu Edmondson, The Damn Quails, Brandon Jenkins, and Dusty Smirl. For more information and ticket sales head here. — Ashley Gongora

Hotter Than Hell Burlesque at Kessler Theater
Bringing back the hottest show in town, La Divina Productions and Ruby Joule Productions present the Hotter Than Hell Burlesque show as it takes its run for it's fourth year. The show includes special guest, 2009's Reigning Queen Kalani Kokonuts from the Burlesque Hall of Fame. Joining this lovely lady is Ruby Joule, La Divina, Minxie Mimuex and Iris L'amour. — AG

Cirque du Soleil: Michael Jackson The Immortal World Tour at American Airlines Center
Since 2010 Cirque du Soleil has been paying tribute to Michael Jackson's legacy by combining its artful acrobatics with the King of Pop's most thrilling hooks and videos from Jackson's life. Trust us: it's a whole lot less creepy than watching a moonwalking Michael Jackson hologram. — AG

The Angelus, Calhoun at The Foundry (Free)
The Angelus' brand of droney gothic rock should play well under the star-lit sky of The Foundry's patio tonight — especially if you're lucky enough to snag a picnic table and ginormous chicken biscuit. Calhoun shares this bill. — Cory Graves

Shibboleth at Twilite Lounge
It's been years since the local jazz-influenced, instrumental rockers have played out. They'll be making up for lost time tonight at Twilite Lounge, a bar that didn't exist the last time they performed together. — AG

Turnpike Troubadours at Globe Life Park
Even though we mostly report on music, food, beverages and movies, some of us at Central Track headquarters do watch sports (not this guy , ironically). And since I hear they're currently more games under .500 than they've been since the late '80s, I don't imagine I'll have a change of heart any time soon. Anyway, after the team's pounding at the hands of the division-leading A's you'll be rewarded with a free Turnpike Troubadours concert following the game. — CW

Kawehi at The Prophet Bar
Armed with little more than a video camera, some looping software, an MPC and a bottle of wine, Kawehi created a batch of haunting, electro-tinged covers of '90s classics — like this one for Nirvana's “Heart Shaped Box” — that briefly took over the internet awhile back. Tonight she'll try to repeat the feat live in the flesh down in Deep Ellum. — CG

MKTO at House of Blues
Former Nickelodeon stars and American music duo Malcolm Kelley and Tony Oller — known by you as MKTO — are bringing their pop/hip-hop hybrids to House of Blues tonight. Action Item opens. Note that this one will start promptly at 7 p.m. so that they venue will have time to clear out all the kids before holding a pair of burlesque events. — CW

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me at Texas Theatre
If you don't know who killed Laura Palmer, you're probably 20. Or maybe you just don't like David Lynch, perhaps the weirdest auteur since Ed Wood. If you do know who killed Laura Palmer, congrats, we are not enemies. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, the film that serves as a prequel to the television series screens tonight. There'll also be a silent auction for Twin Peaks-themed art, a costume contest and post-screening musical performances from Vulgar Fashion and Def Rain. — CW

We From Dallas at Texas Theatre
Dallas has long struggled to put its hip-hop scene on the national map, standing firm in the belief that its product could compete with that of other, more nationally recognized hip-hop hotbeds littered throughout the country. Over the course of this film's 87 minutes, a group of local filmmakers put that reputation on blast. Read our full review from the film's premiere at this year's Dallas International Film Festival here. — Anton Schlesinger

The Room at The Magnolia
The Room, the greatest worst movie, is back at the Inwood for you to throw plastic spoons at. If you've never experienced this cinematic disaster-piece on the big screen — or at all — you owe it to yourself to rectify that this weekend. If not for yourself, then do it for Johnny. — James Wallace

Vockah Redu at City Tavern
Vockah Redu doesn't just create bounce music. He was raised in New Orleans' now-leveled Magnolia Projects were the genre is widely acknowledged to have originated. Like bounce music's other figureheads — we're looking at you Big Freedia — Vockah Redu churns out breakneck-paced, sexually-charged dance jams that demand all manner of ass to be shaken to it. He won't take no for an answer. — CG

Ska Revival Tour at Three Links
Do you sometimes feel like the only person anxiously awaiting the arrival of a fourth wave ska revival? Maybe you are. But we're guessing you won't be the only person skanking to the dulcet tones of Survay Says, The Last Slice, Squirt Gun Warriors and The Wife and Kids at Three Links tonight as part of the Ska Revival tour. — Cory Graves

Gary Owen at Addison Improv
Comedian Gary Owen — who you may recognize from Think Like a Man — comes down for a four day weekend of performances at the Addison Improv. — AG

Saturday
Young Thug at The Prophet Bar
In most circles former Gucci Mane protige Young Thug is thought to be one of the most talented young rappers currently coming up in the game. His songs like “Stoner” and the borderline bizarre “Danny Glover” have each racked up tens of millions of views on YouTube alone in the past year. Or, as AllMusic critc David Jeffries put it, Young Thug combines the “radio-worthy weirdness of rappers like Waka Flocka Flame with the hooky underground anthem sound of artists like Chief Keef.” It should be quite alluring to say the least. — CG

Cozy Hawks (Album Release) at Lola's
Almost exactly two years removed from the release of Cozy Hawks' undeniably infectious debut, the Denton power-pop trio is set to release its follow-up as part of tonight's four-band bill at Lola's. Over the course of the past several months, the outfit has leaked a couple of singles from its Pan-Pacific LP, which was originally supposed to earn its release this spring. Judging from those tracks alone, it would appear Cozy Hawks has done the damn near impossible in somehow churning out even catchier singles than the last go-round. Which is all the more impressive when one considers the band's debut earned a spot on our list of the best local albums of 2012. Guess we'll find out tonight. Telegraph Canyon, Calhoun and The Caldwell also perform. — CG

Big Wheel at The Foundry (Free)
If you're not a karaoke person, and don't feel like having people stare at you while belting out Bon Jovi, here's your chance to watch someone else in the act. Big Wheel will be at The Foundry tonight, covering all the '80s greats. Make sure to get some macaroni and cheese at Chicken Scratch when you're there — it's delicious. — CW

The Rocketboys at Granada Theater
Austin's The Rocketboys' usually melancholy, but sometimes insightful, melodic light rock might not be the thing for everybody. Those who enjoy piano-driven sophistication and references to October Sky, however, will be right at home at this show. — Chelsea Upton

Deborah Vial at House of Blues
Deborah Vial describes herself as a “middle aged lady with a microphone,” but — hot damn! — she makes growing older look really appetizing. Though she calls Maui home these days, tonight's House of Blues performance will be something of a homecoming for the onetime local. Jane Doe opens. — CW

Tyler Hilton at Hat Tricks
With his acting career, One Tree Hill's Tyler Hilton is used to playing to a pretty specific audience. Whereas tonight he'll be trying to convince a much different crowd of folks that shows up to Lewisville to take in his particular brand of pop-tinged Americana that he doesn't want to be anything other than what he's been trying to be lately. — CG

Ronnie Milsap at Billy Bob's
Ronnie Milsap is perhaps most known for his rebellious 1983 “Stranger In My House,” which pushed the bar for the genre. Furthermore, his “Smoky Mountain Rain” is one of the greatest country songs of all time. Relive the glory days past and present, and help Ronnie celebrate his recent induction into the Country Music Hall of Fame tonight at The World's Largest Honky Tonk. Yee-haw. — CW

The Best Movie Fest Ever Presents: My Favorite Musicals at Cinemark Plano
For two nights only, Cinemark Plano are going to be showing digital remastered prints of Moulin Rouge (2001), Oklahoma! (1955) and Hello Dolly! (1969) back-to-back with intermissions. They are calling it The Best Movie Fest Ever. There will be a costume contest, trivia contests and the chance to win prizes from local retailers, some of whom will be on-site. If you can't make the 26, the second showing will be on the 29. To get more enlightenment on how to not name your festival, read our editorial on the subject here. — CW

An American Werewolf in London at Angelika Film Center
Every film critic has a list of shame of movies they haven't seen. An American Werewolf in London is at the top of mine. If you still want to be my friend, maybe we could go see this together? We can dance in the moonlight after. Hello? Is anyone there? — CW

Convoy & the Cattlemen, The Hazardous Dukes at Three Links
Earlier this month our favorite punky Western swing band released its debut album. Pick up a copy tonight at the band's first Dallas show since its vinyl has been available. The always good-timing Hazzardous Dukes open. In either case you'll get more guitar, violin, pedal steel and piano solos than you can handle. — CG

Sunday
Austin Mahone at Verizon Theatre
Austin Mahone may not look to bright, but he's actually a lot smarter than you'd think. Being pals with Justin Bieber, he's managed to keep a good record with press. Surely he's been around the Biebs during one of his 3,000 meltdowns, but so far he's managed to maintain a clean image all the same. He's also tight with Lil Wayne, which is cool with us. — CW

The Coathangers at Dada
The Coathangers initially formed as a joke, but now they're an actual, totally kickass (and still sort of joke-y) punk band. Super-serious and emotional ballads such as “Shut the Fuck Up” and “Pussywillow” have helped them win over plenty of hearts and vaginas everywhere. White Fang and Party Static open. — CU

WWE Summerslam at American Airlines Center
Before tonight's non-televised WWE event rolls through the AAC, why not revisit this list of the best wrestling moments to ever take place in Dallas as a sort of primer? — CG

Hard Working Americans, Cody Canada at House of Blues
Hard Working Americans is an upstart Americana supergroup consisting of singer-songwriter Todd Snider, Neal Casal (Chris Robinson Brotherhood), Dave Schools (Widespread Panic), Chad Staehly (Great American Taxi) and Duane Trucks (King Lincoln), which is probably about all one needs to know heading into this one. Red dirt elder statesman Cody Canada opens. — CG

Summer Slaughter Tour at Gas Monkey Bar & Grill
Dust off your old Doc Martens, tonight you are going to mosh. There are more death metal bands playing the Summer Slaughter Tour than your undamaged brain cells can remember, so work those neck muscles and pocket some Advil for the souvenir bruises you'll be bringing home from the show. Morbid Angel, The Faceless, Thy Art is Murder, Goatwhore, Origin, Decrepit Birth, Within the Ruins, Fallujah and more are all playing this one. — CW

Cosign Magazine's Third Anniversary Party at Lofty Spaces
Celebrate the release of Cosign Magazine's new issue, along with the publication's third anniversary. The event includes a fashion and art show, free drinks during their cocktail hour, as well as a performance by Cassie Holt & The Lost Souls. Live painting and art displays will be shown throughout the event, as well as surprise performances. If it holds a candle to the event held last week at this space you should be in for one hell of a treat. — AG

Daikaiju at Three Links
Daikaiju describes itself as follows: “Premium action heroes deliver most high rocket music! Special reverb skill combo for full impact! Loud sonic boom for earful pleasure! Beautiful radiation of hyper-dimensional springy sound creates divine psychic wind for your special defense! Worship Psycho-surf band Daikaiju daily for good luck and health!” Listen: When a band's own website describes the groups work in terms that can be best described as stoner Chinese-restaurant menuese, you can expect to be in for a pretty weird night. Anticipate a loud, reverb-drenched set with plenty of show-offy instrumentals from this mysterious, masked Alabama quartet. — Stephen Young

Kill Paris at SISU
If you're wanting to trade in head-banging for dancing, he's something a little more mellow that that head-banging all day event going on across town. Los Angeles producer Kill Paris will provide the tunes at this one, which kicks off at 2 p.m. Sorry kiddos, this pool party is 21 and up only. — CW

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.