Things To Do This Weekend.

Joy To The World.

Do you find the fact that, last year, Texas boasted the second-most UFO sightings in the country more scary or exciting? Does the fact that there were so many unique sightings make the possibility that at least one of them was real seem more likely to you?

All we know is you have a zero chance of spotting any of these mysterious flying bodies if you don't leave the house this weekend.

On the other hand, that'd also mean there's a zero percent chance you end up having a kickass time at any of these events, either.

Plan accordingly.

Friday
Childish Gambino at South Side Music Hall
I don't know if Childish Gambino is exactly the perfect name to describe the now 30-year-old rapper/actor Donald Glover anymore. That is to say, from the time he first derived his name from an online Wu-Tang Clan name generator and releasing 2011's Camp, he's done some growing up — leaving behind his role on NBC's Community and releasing his sophomore LP, Because The Internet. At least there will be plenty of adult content and activity at the show to make up for the comically misleading name. — Porttia Portis

Pop That! Presents: Booty Fade (EP Release) at The Travis (Upstairs)
First things first: Yes, we've got a new home for the bash this month. As opposed to each of our previous affairs, all of which went down at the It'll Do Club, this next Pop That will go down in the gorgeous upstairs confines of The Travis. And, boy, will we have a show for you there: Booty Fade, the collaborative and undeniably rad collaboration between Picnictyme and our own Pop That collaborator DJ Sober, will headline the affair, which will double as that group's debut, self-titled EP release party; legendary Dallas emcee Tum Tum, whose “Caprice Musik” Booty Fade sampled for its new “It Goes Down” track, will also be on hand, hosting the bash; and Boston-based DJ and producer Durkin will be on hand, too, setting the table for Booty Fade's set with a sure-to-be-alluring offering. — Pete Freedman

Frank Caliendo at Addison Improv
The former MadTV star and George W. Bush impersonator is going to be performing a lot at the Addison Improv this weekend. Expect extremely topical antics. — Trace McCaslin

Wheeler Brothers at Granada Theater
Family bands automatically make me think of forcefully poppy sounds and ridiculous matching outfits. Luckily the folky, Austin-based Wheeler Brothers outfit don't fit that description. And maybe that's because two of them aren't even technically related. Nevertheless, they've still managed to escape the traps associated with family bands, garnering some high praise in the music circuit. Whatever they're doing, they could lend some pointers to anyone thinking of starting a family band. — PP

Reservoir Dogs at Inwood Theater
The film that forever changed the way we listen to “Stuck in the Middle” — and taught us that it wasn't a Dylan song, either. — CG

It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Denton at Rubber Gloves
Denton record shop Mad World is marking the third anniversary with two days of shows at nearby Rubber Gloves. The lineup for Night One includes The Baptist Generals, The Satans of Soft Rock, Cornhole, Bad Design and Brent Best — all for just $10. — CG

Calhoun, Dove Hunter and The Family Piano at Shipping & Receiving
Last Saturday's Sarah Jaffe performance marked the first in Shipping & Receiving's new low-cost Saturday night series. At $10, the most recent addition to Fort Worth's South Main neighborhood had no trouble quickly selling that show out. Expect tonight's similarly solid lineup — and the first in its new MainFridays series — to do the same. Tickets to this one are just $2. — CG

The Black Dotz, The American Fuse and The Phuss at Three Links
The Deep Ellum venue continues its three days of celebrations in honor of a quite successful first year in business with performances from a trio of highly regarded locals. — CG

The Relatives at Kessler Theater
Almost a year ago today, the Dallas soul/gospel outfit capped a 30-year journey that finally saw them performing their very first album release show — and at this same venue, too. It's hard to say if tonight's performance will hold any of that same kind of magic, but the fact that they'll also be celebrating Bobby Patterson's 70th birthday at this one surely won't hurt matters. In any case, seeing the Relatives perform live usually proves a pretty moving and wholly worthwhile venture just the same. — CG

The Spring Standards at Dan's Silverleaf
The Spring Standards' last release definitely leans more towards NYC indie rock and even pseudo club music than their past folk rock output. But change is always a good thing. No one wants to play the same tune forever. That's not to say the folksy sound has completely disappeared, though. Hey, there's still enough melancholy and dreaminess to go around. — PP

Boogie Nights at Texas Theatre
Following the opening night-screening of the porn-tastic retro classic — shown in 35mm, no less — will be a full-on disco dance party hosted by DJs Gabriel and George Quartz. Costumes strongly encouraged. Be a star. — CG

Brandit-Popmart at UNT on the Square
Tonight up in Denton, the University of North Texas will host a reception for renowned Dallas-born pop artist Ron English, an alumnus of the school who, all week long, has been helping art students at the school put together an art installation at the school's UNT on the Square facility.It's a solid get, for sure: Local ties notwithstanding, English is responsible for some of the most recognizable pop art pieces of our time. — PF

Saturday
Untapped Festival at Panther Island Pavilion
What a deal: A ticket to this affair is not only gets you samples of all sorts of beer, but lots of music, too. In all, some 200-plus beers from 65-plus breweries will be available for your drinking pleasure as musical acts such as The Joy Formidable, Allen Stone, The Feliece Brothers, Quaker City Night Hawks, Kate Nash, Sam Lao and -topic perform. — H. Drew Blackburn

FC Dallas vs Montreal Impact at Toyota Stadium
Today marks the opening of the 2014 season, and you can bet that at least The Polyphonic Spree are happy about that. Even if you don't go to the game, you can still get buy-one-get-one-free burritos at Chipotle if you're wearing FC Dallas gear today. — CG

Dallas Stars vs Anaheim Ducks at American Airlines Center
Did you know nine different NHL franchises have retired the number 9? That number will grow to 10 at this game, when the Stars retire Mike Modano's No. 9 sweater during one of the intermissions. — CG

Katt Williams at Verizon Theatre
In recent years, Williams has become more well-known for his legal troubles and onstage meltdowns than his actual stand-up performances. At least Williams — who has been very adamant in the past about not apologizing for his past misdeeds — owns up to his behavior. That said, this one comes highly recommended for both fans of comedy and/or train wrecks. — CG

Whiskey, Women, Weathered at Capital L Arts and Entertainment
Even though Nick Quintero hasn’t made music since 2009, it was his music career under the Mes The Jive Turkey moniker that eventually led him to graphic design. Out of a need for merchandise while on tour, Quintero took matters into his own hands and made his own album art, T-shirts and posters. Fortunately for him, he ended up being really good at it. These days, his hand-drawn typography is his claim to fame. At this, his very first solo exhibition, Quintero will showcase just how good he's gotten. — PP

Texas Music Revolution 2014 at South Fork Ranch
For the umpteenth year in a row, local alt-country station KHYI 95.3-FM, known more affectionately as The Range, will host its annual Texas Music Revolution concert at South Fork Ranch. Performing this year are Reckless Kelly, Jack Ingram, American Aquarium, Zane Williams, John David Kent, The O's, Green Light Pistol and a whole bunch of other like-minded acts. — CG

Off With Their Heads, Pinata Protest and Svetlanas at Three Links
If you're thinking about going to just one of this venue's three anniversary shows this weekend, it should probably be this one that'll feature sets from Off With Their Heads, Pinata Protest, Svetlanas, Dallas Uber Alles, Sealion, The Slow Death, The Dead Rabbits, New Red Scare, Perdition, The Re-mo's, The Sharp Lads and Fat By the Gallon. For one thing, that's a lot of bands. For another, Pinata Protest's live shows aren't to be missed. — CG

Street Arabs (Album Release) at Crown and Harp
Dallas ice cream punks Street Arabs will also be hosting an album release this weekend for their killer new disc, Bruised Fruit. As we've previously said of that effort, the Mark Ryan- and Jeff Burke-produced disc features much of the same lo-fi ethos and driving rhythms of those guys' own Radioactivity and Mind Spiders projects, but with elements of soul and doo-wop sprinkled in for good measure. — CG

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Denton at Rubber Gloves
Performing on the second night of Mad World Records' three-year anniversary bash are The Reds, John Wesley Coleman, Old Warhorse, Radioactivity and Dim Locator. — CG

Indie Rock Latin America at Sandaga 813
The headliners of this one — Mexico's La Orquesta Vulgar and Argentina's Phonalex — will each be playing official SXSW showcases this time next week. You won't catch their brand of Latin-influenced jazz and funk in a more intimate or less chaotic environment if you wait until you're in Austin to check out these acts, though. Locals Mayta, Dustin Cavazos and Supersonic Lips open. — CG

Oil Boom, Calhoun and The Orbans at Kessler Theater
We're not sure what the biggest sell for this one is. Is it the fact that it's something of a SXSW warm-up for Oil Boom before they head to Austin next weekend? That, with some of its members living outside of the area now, Calhoun hasn't been playing as many local shows of late? Or is it that The Orbans are fresh off the release of a pretty well-received, brand new LP? In any case, you won't find a much more solid all local lineup in town all weekend. — CG

Ian Moore at Lola's
The Austin-based blues guitarist has served as a backing musician to Texas hero Joe Ely and, more recently, Jason Mraz. And since the mid-'90s he's been steadily gaining recognition for his own Beatles influenced compositions — although not so much that he'll be out of place playing a set in a bar the size of Lola's. — CG

Jim Jefferies at Majestic Theatre
The Australian-born comic, who toured alongside Dave Chappelle as part of last year's Oddball comedy festival, will make a return trip to Dallas to riff on atheism, pandas and pedophiles, if his past work is any indication. It'll damn sure be funny, though. We swear to God. — CG

Alive at WAAS Gallery
Ross von Rosenberg and Karla Camerena will give an artist talk about their new series of works inspired by the classic Pearl Jam LP. No? It's really about their interpretations of what it really means to be alive? Hey, that sounds cool, too. — CG

Nadastrom at Trees
When you start listening to a Nadastrom mix — like, say, this one, rather specifically — it can be tough to pinpoint exactly what kind of dance music Dave Nada and Matt Nordstrom most dig. But all you have to do is just give this namesake twosome's music is a little time. Because, if you wait for it patiently, yup, there it comes, just when you really need it — moombahton, the sexy, Caribbean-flavored house music through which this Mad Decent-affiliate crew made its name. You can try not to sweat at this one. But you're going to sweat. Just wear deodorant, please. — PF

One Fest B4 SXSW at Sons of Hermann Hall
Contrary to what this event's name implies, there actually are a few other pre-SXSW goings on this weekend. And, in that regard, you can expect the number of spillover events to be much more obvious over the next couple of weekends. But the second day of this two-day metal fest — the first day of which takes place at Taqueria Pedritos — will feature performances from PLF, ACxDC, Kill the Client, Tolar, Noisear, Turbokrieg, Cleric, Pinkish Black, Releaser, Modern Pain, Afflictive Nature and Mean & Ugly, and that's some heavy shit. — CG

Sunday
Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks at Granada Theater
When tracing alternative music back to its roots, the road always leads back to Pavement and/or The Pixies. But Pavement, unlike the Pixies, are no more. Even so, when that band called it quits in '99, frontman Stephen Malkmus continued putting out music with his new backing band, the Jicks. The critical response varied, but we dig it: Aside from being one of our favorite albums of 2011, Mirror Traffic was quite possibly the most Pavement-like record Malkmus has written in the past decade. And 2013's Wig Out at Jagbags was similarly stellar. — CG

Ha Ha Tonka and Lydia Loveless at Lola's
As much as the name of the Missouri band headlining this one conjures up images of a certain '90s WWF wrestler, it's still somehow not as cringe-worthy as the band's previous name, Beatchen. And it hasn't prevented the Bloodshot Records signees from becoming one of the bigger Americana acts going. — CG

Bun B at Trees
The former UGK member is perhaps the most well-respected rapper to ever come from Texas, earning praise Jay-Z, the throng of folks from the area willing to stand in the rain to catch his 2012 set at 35 Denton, and the professors at Rice University (who've hosted his lectures), alike. — CG

PBR-BQ2 at Dada
Unlike last year, this all-day country-rich lineup won't be competing with any of Greenville's St. Patty's Day shenanigans or Parade of Flesh's annual post-SXSW Spillover madness. Even with all that competition, though, last year's deal was still able to draw a pretty sizable crowd. Cheap PBR tallboys and free smoked meats tend to have that effect. So, too, does good music. This year's lineup will feature local alt-country staples such as Boys Named Sue, Grant Jones, The O's, The King Bucks and Greg Schroeder, among others. But, sadly, there are no members of the Foo Fighters involved in this year's go. — CG

Sarah Jessica Parker Personal Shoe Launch at NorthPark Mall
Carrie Bradshaw Sarah Jessica Parker will make a personal appearance at Nordstrom's today to promote her eponymous line of shoes. We've been told they've been “affordably” priced in the $195-$500 range, too. — CG

Dirty Fences and Nancy at Three Links (Free)
Though it's not technically a part of the venue's three days of anniversary celebrations, a free show from a set of highly regarded national headliners is worth celebrating in and of itself. Before hitting up SXSW next week, Brooklyn garage rockers Dirty Fences will do their thing in Deep Ellum. — CG

Home(Townes)Fest at The Grotto
Former Flatlander Butch Hancock and a dozen-or-so other artists will come together to honor Fort Worth legend Townes Van Zandt at the tiny Funky Town venue for this one. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.