Have Yourself A Merry Little Chrismukkah.
You know what's just an OK party trick? Putting a glass of beer on your head and betting everyone in the room that you can drink it without using your hands.
Yeah, it can be done. But man is it ever a slow process. Plus, at the end of it all, you've still only had one beer, tops.
For a bet with a little better payoff, just tell your buddies you can find 35 things to do this weekend with a single click. It's just that easy. — Cory Graves
Friday
Chrismukkah at Dada
A couple days before Hanukkah and a few weeks before Christmas, Seth Cohen and Co. will celebrate an interfaith love of Nashville and Dallas punk music. Without any proper carols of its own, the portmanteu pop culture holiday of Chrismukkah will have to settle for the catalogs of JEFF the Brotherhood, Diarrhea Planet, Sealion, War Party and Psychomagic — y'know, perfect date night stuff. — CG
Hair Metal Holiday at The Bomb Factory
Its been a trying couple of decades for Great White, who have seen their audiences dwindle from arena-packing proportions to dive bar-sized over the years, not to mention their involvement in one of the all-time worst concert tragedies. More recently the band split off into two factions, the one playing this bill, which features the band's original guitarist and drummer and another that features frontman Jack Russell and a bunch of hired guns. Slaughter, L.A. Guns, Dangerous Toys, Generator and Supernova Remnant also play this '80s hair metal holiday. — CG
Eleven Hundred Springs at Double Wide
Outlaw-country traditionalists Eleven Hundred Springs bring their new school look, and decidedly old school sound to about the most fitting venue on the planet for that type of thing — the hipster honky-tonk that Double Wide will no doubt resemble tonight. The local heroes are the only band on the bill tonight, so there'll be plenty of time to drink beer and raise hell. — CG
Quaker City Night Hawks, Banditos at Three Links
For a while there, last year's Big Folkin' Fest was a pretty tame affair. Then came a breaking point when The Banditos, based out of Nashville, stormed the small Prophet Bar stage, packing it with their five-member group. And, even with limited space, the group treated it like a jam session, breaking into a furious dance and foot-stomping with every extended riff and solo. Lead singer Mary Richardson tied it all together with her shouting vocals and hair-swirling movements, causing the crowd to join in on their energetic shindig. Attribute it to the stellar performance of Banditos or to the rising levels of beer per capita in the crowd, but, from then out, the energy of the Big Folkin' Festival was cranked to an appropriate level. Here they'll be sandwiched between fellow BFF vets in Fort Worth's Quaker City Night Hawks and Dallas' Vandoliers. — Scott Mitchell
UTA Sigma Chi Fight Night XXVII w/ Waka Flocka Flame at Gas Monkey Live
Following in the footsteps of The Bomb Factory's championship boxing matches last weekend, fellow large Dallas music venue Gas Monkey Live is holding a dozen amateur boxing matches in the name of charity. And the whole thing will be capped off with a full set from the Fozzy Bear-loving rapper Waka Flocka Flame. — CG
Daniel Markham, Siamese at Sundown
Siamese only played its first show this summer, but the startup Dallas outfit that boasts Nicole Marxen-Myers (Mount Righteous), Teddy Waggy (Moonbather), Paul Alonzo (Missile) and Paul Grass (Fox & the Bird) is already quite a thing to watch live. There's already a lot of thought being put into costumes, set pieces and other visuals, and Waggy's guitar prowess immediately brings to mind the gracefully brutal shredding of St. Vincent. Here the open for the Daniel Markhams, probably the best band in the whole damn region. — CG
Dustin Diamond at Hyena's (Plano)
Though in recent years he's proven to be the biggest scumbag of the Saved By The Bell cast members, part of us believes it's all partly a calculated effort to distance himself his dorky Screech persona. He may even be a decent stand-up comedian. We don't know. We couldn't be bothered to stop watching videos of the Bayside High glee club singing “Friends Forever” long enough to check into it. — CG
Tony Rock at Arlington Improv
When your sibling is one of the best at what they do, it can be easy to stick to another line of work. But, in the case of folks like Brent Gretzky, Eddie Payton, Frank Stallone, Don Swayze, Charlie Murphy and Solange Knowles, it's sometimes the markedly more difficult task of trying to make a name for yourself outside of your sibling's shadow that proves much more worthwhile. Chris Rock's younger brother Tony does his thing tonight in Addison, and tries to prove that he's more than just a sibling of note. — CG
Entertainment at Texas Theatre
For the most part, those who go to a Neil Hamburger show are in on the bit. Hamburger's a deliberately off-putting character and terrible stand-up created by Gregg Turkington. In Rick Alverson's new film, Neil Hamburger finds himself performing in a string of small town dives to tiny crowds of folks who thinks this shitty stand-up is for real. — CG
Cocktails for Kitties V at Ten Bells Tavern
The purchase of specified cocktails will go to help benefit Feral Friends, a local charity that looks out for Dallas street cats. Because if anybody knows anything about helping street cats it's certainly the folks at Ten Bells with its feline-filled patio. — CG
Casablanca at Inwood Theatre
Of all the movie houses in all the towns, you had to walk into the one that was showing the Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman classic at midnight. Here's lookin' at you kid. — CG
Colt Ford at Billy Bob's
Colt Ford is the genius that decided to combine bro country and rap. Hmm, country plus rap, seems like there should be some sort of abbreviation for that. Rountry? Na, that doesn't look quite right. Oh well, we'll think of it. — CG
Repeal Day Parties
On December 5, 1933, Prohibition was officially repealed. And the booze has flowed freely ever since. Head here for a list of gin joints celebrating this Friday and Saturday by hawking their wares for literal pennies on the dollar. — CG
Saturday
Baroness at Double Wide (Sold Out)
A Baroness song can take a moment to ramp up. There's some melodic noodling — not for naught, though, as this move tends to lulls listeners right into the band's groove –before all pacing goes to hell and energy bursts out all across the band's four pieces. This one's sold out, but there's still a chance to catch a free set from the band over at Good Records beforehand — assuming you get there early enough. — Pete Freedman
Dallas Observer Music Awards Showcase in Deep Ellum
Put simply, 40-plus local bands will play short sets spread across nine Deep Ellum venues. But why don't we just let them tell you all about it? — CG
Dwight Yoakam at WinStar World Casino
The country icon and current torch-bearer for the Buck Owens-pioneered Bakersfield sound will be doing his thing a couple hours north. With punk-flavored country and California country both currently on the rise, we'd say any opportunity to catch one of those genres' most beloved figures is worth the trip. — CG
Toby Mac at Verizon Theatre
Two decades before Lecrae helped take Christian rap mainstream, former DC Talk emcee Toby Mac helped pioneer that ish. Britt Nicole and Colton Dixon open. — CG
Huffer (Album Release) at Lola's
The newish, 1999-era Foo Fighers mining Fort Worth outfit Huffer releases its debut full-length this weekend. To that end, you can hear a few cuts from that one here before hearing the live and loud versions at Lola's. Southern Train Gypsy, Duell and Bomb Quixote open. — CG
King Diamond at House of Blues
Since suffering a bad reaction to an anesthetic earlier this week that left him with acute laryngitis, this show has become pretty touch and go. “King has for once been silent, trying his damnedest to bring enough vocal chords back to complete the rest of the tour,” reads an official statement. “There is still hope for Dallas on Saturday, but do keep an eye on [King Diamond's official] Facebook just in case. — CG
Cory Patrick Coleman, Skagg Philips (Album Releases) at Dan's Silverleaf
Denton's Skagg Philips, the newish project from A.M. Ramblers' Jordan Batson, releases debut album, em>Problems in Japan, this weekend. That same day, Skagg Philips drummer Cory Patrick Coleman will release his sophomore full-length, Gonna Find You, which was recorded by Grady Don Sandlin at his home. Both of those albums will earn their release as part of a dual release show at Dan's Silverleaf on where Daniel Markham will also perform. We were fortunate to premiere tracks from both these discs, which you can preview here. — CG
Tamale Libre at Oak Cliff Cultural Center
Sure, tacos are the ones that steal most of the shine, but The O.C. is ripe with tamales, too. Bring $10 and taste the best tamales the hood has to offer. — CG
Darude at Lizard Lounge
There's no need to whip out your Shazam app at this one — and don't bother asking your buddy what the DJ is playing, either — because on this night the answer will always be “Sandstorm.” — CG
Reliant Lights Your Holidays at AT&T Performing Arts Center (Free)
Like the did last year, Reliant will once again aim to light up your holidays with a free outdoor concert and fireworks show at the AT&T Performing Arts Center. Bundle up, BYO hot chocolate and enjoy a free holiday show from The Polyphonic Spree, Bubba Hernandez y Los Vatos and cast members from The Jersey Boys. — CG
Adult Coloring Book Release at J. Erik Josson Central Library
We've been saying it for years at this point: The Dallas Public Library is a goddamn gem. And, now, just a couple months removed from hosting a very rad vinyl sale, the DPL system is stunting once again and showing off its acute cultural awareness by releasing an adult coloring book. As you've no doubt noticed, adult coloring books — books for adults to color in, not coloring books featuring adult themes, you heathen — are all the rage right now, in part because of their soothing properties but also because they're just super fun. Well, DPL has noticed this, too, and it's now acting on the trend by releasing its own 40-page coloring book. The book nods to Dallas' visual arts scene by featuring across its pages the works of local artists Kelly Allen, Francisco Araujo, Moni Bell, Taylor Bryant, Brian Scott, Brent Combs, Ray-Mel Cornelius, Nicole Dane, Rachel Fischer, Timothy Harding, Elliott Johnson & M, Nicole Marxen-Myers, Matt Panuska, Trevor Shin, Brad Smith, Paige Vickers, Paul Winker and Zeke Williams. — PF
The Anti-Comedians of Comedy at Texas Theatre
Following a screening of the aforementioned Entertainment, local comedians Clint Werth and Andy Franklin will perform as will anti-band Bukkake Moms and DJ George Quartz. We'll leave it to you to decide if the fact that they're terrible is intentional or not. Hey [coughs up flem] we kid! — CG
Krampus Walk at Wit's End
Santa Claus is coming to town. Unfortunately, for all you bad little boys and girls, that also means Krampus is on his way, too. A whole bunch of them, in fact. They'll meet up this evening at Wit's End, and will proceed to descend upon Deep Ellum until they've met their naughty children quota. Or something like that. Anyway, feel free to suit up and join in. — CG
Xtreme Knockout 28 at Gas Monkey Live
For the second night in a row, GML will host live fighting, this time of the professional MMA variety. — CG
Ghost Town at Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill
Hollywood electronicore trio Ghost Town brings its poppy equality anthems to Dallas in support of its just released third LP. Danger Kids, Palaye Royale, Bad Seed Rising and Sounds Like Harmony open. — CG
Paul Thorn at Kessler Theater
Ex boxer and keyboardist for '90s country band Shenandoah, Paul Thorn will sing is latest batch of positive Americana anthems to Oak Cliff. The Mastersons open. — CG
Downtown Wander Walk
Downtown is always nice this time of year. Hit one of the Park-It-Pop-Ups in Downtown to grab a wristband, then wander around the neighborhood looking for all kinds of sales, specials and pop-up events. Search the #DowntownWanderland hashtag for clues on where to look. — CG
The Beaumonts at Fred's Cafe
Goofy Lubbock honky-tonk outfit The Beaumonts provide your greasy burger-eatin' soundtrack this weekend, along with The Me-Thinks and Vincent Neil Emerson. — CG
Sunday
JoJo at Dada (Sold Out)
Last month former teen sensation JoJo — at 13-years-old, the America's Most Talented Kids contestant became one of the youngest solo artists to have a No. 1 hit on the Billboard Pop chart — headed out on her second-ever headlining U.S. tour. Now in her early 20s, JoJo is one of those next big things in the pop world, selling out this show some time ago. Aaron Camper opens. — CG
Between the Buried and Me at House of Blues
Earlier this year, young prog metal favorites Between the Buried and Me was one of the first acts to play the newly opened Bomb Factory. Opening the band's return trip is Enslaved, Intronaut and Native Construct. — CG
Rockapella at Texan Theater
Where in the world is the Texan Theater you ask? Greenville. It's in Greenville. And after stealing their Seoul in South Korea, making Antarctica cry Uncle from the Red Sea to Greenland they'll be singing the blues over in Greenville — sans instruments, of course. — CG
To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.