Things To Do This Weekend.

This Means War.

Yesterday, Instagram rolled out an update that ditches its well-worn square photos, now allowing both portrait and landscape oriented shots to be uploaded to its platform.

You'll no doubt want to start testing it out ASAP. The thing is, nobody wants to see your boring old ceiling fan, behind-the-wheel selfies or whatever the fuck you happen to be eating rn. Go out and really make it count.

And why not? There's tons of places this weekend well worthy of being 'grammed. — Cory Graves

Friday
An Evening With Kevin Smith at Texas Theatre
Do kids today appreciate Kevin Smith like they should? In their eyes, is he just some hockey jersey-wearing, airline-bashing, podcasting guy behind that one comic book store reality show on AMC? Either way, people who know and love Smith for all of those reasons and more are going to really enjoy this spate of news, too: Not only is Smith currently in pre-production for both Clerks III and Mallrats 2, but he's also going to be coming to Dallas this weekend for a special “An Evening With…” night at the Texas Theatre. And though that event is already sold out, he'll be sticking around after to do a live taping of his Smodcast podcast. — Pete Freedman

Josh Johnson at Andy's Bar
Probably the hottest comic in town right now and a surefire candidate in the “next local talent to leave Dallas and then become huge” sweepstakes, the young, charming and very witty Josh Johnson will be recording his first live album, called Tabitha, at this showcase in Denton. Better go, if only to laugh later at the hundreds who'll claim to have been there when they weren't. — PF

ZZ Ward at Granada Theater
We've all been told to put the gun down by her and ZZ has been blasting through your radio at some point and with no guilt because her sound is unique and great to scream to. So, go scream with her as summer comes to a close and go out with a bang. — Lauren Kuehmeier

Pretopia w/ Astronautalis at Harvest House
At this point the buildup for this year's installment of Oaktopia is only growing into a mass of typical Denton indie cred. Continuing such, the festival's got on board Astronautalis, you know the white rapper from Minneapolis who went to school here years ago and whose music continues to bring him back to town. Well he's back, at the new, exciting outdoor stage of Harvest House off the square in downtown Denton. Space isn't that limited, but tickets are $15. The BoomBachs, S. Goode and GreenHouse open. So put on your hippest pair of party pants and get ready to pre-fest. — Evan Henry

16bars.xxx's 40oz Bounce at Monroe Lounge
I don't really understand what the whole fascination with 40oz is. Maybe I'm just getting old. One thing's for sure. The kids love him. Here, he brings his party, the 40oz bounce to Dallas with 16.bars.xxx with DJ sets and performances from some of Dallas' best and brightest like The Outfit, TX, BeMyFriend, and G.U.N. Get ready to turn up. — H. Drew Blackburn

Ansolo at Lizard Lounge
You may know Ansel Elgort as Shailene Woodley's brother from the Divergent series. Or maybe you know him as her love interest in The Fault In Our Stars? Either way, dude knows himself as a DJ who goes by the name of “Ansolo,” which is almost certainly a Han Solo reference, even if it mostly just conjures up thoughts of this sick Zoolander burn. Let's settle this one on the runway! — PF

Dome Dwellers (Album Release) at Rubber Gloves
This weekend, Denton avant-garage trio Dome Dwellers is releasing a new album. To celebrate, the band is performing a set full of its new material. Setting this one apart, the Dwellers enlisted transcendental visual artist Brian Tomerlin to project throughout the night against a massive television-like display. This is set to be one of many “TV In Your Mind” installments combining local sound artists with visual artists, much like that of Dallas Ambient Music Nights, #TexasNoise, but on a pop music scale. See where it goes as your grip the latest from the Denton outfit as Tomerlin's visuals are to die for. — EH

Slim Cessna's Auto Club at Three Links
Locally hailed as something of a supergroup, Vandoliers continue to impress — so much so that in the last eight months, the area outfit has taken its sound up and down the state and even most recently to Denver, which also happens to be the home of tonight's headliners, the oft creepy Americana/goth hybrid Slim Cessna's Auto Club. Vandoliers put something of a twist on the genre, too, as the title of its new LP, Ameri-Kinda suggests. That batch of rock 'n' roll infused country will be officially released at this one. The roaring Daniel Markham opens. — EH

Pretty in Pink at Inwood Theatre
Revisit the frustration you felt when Andie should've chosen Duckie but didn't. I mean, Blane definitely wasn't the worst choice. But I'd like to see him passionately lip synch “Try A Little Tenderness” in a record store with the same charm as The Duck Man. — Diamond Victoria

North Texas Fair and Rodeo at North Texas Fair Grounds
Sam Riggs, Josh Abbott Band, Dusty Smirl, Kody West, Shaun Outen and something called a Bull Blow Out are among today's performers and attractions as the Fair heads into its final weekend of 2015. — CG

Terror Vault at Pariah
Terror Vault is exactly what it sounds like, a lock-box of your most fearful nightmares presented in a public forum. Terror Vault is very real and the people behind it are presenting an evening of DFW's most frightening sounds. Accompanying this festival are iill, Snow Leper, Teen Slut as well Austin's Street Sect's final show of 2015 with plenty more. In total, it's only $10 and should nothing short of sonically challenging. — EH

King George at House of Blues
The cowboy responsible for over 50 country No. 1's famously “rode away” for good last year, setting an indoor concert attendance record at the Death Star in the process. So it looks like George Strait cover bands are going to be your only option to hear the King's music in a live setting moving forward. — CG

Kansas at Arlington Music Hall
With a very much incomplete lineup, Kansas, the famed rock outfit known for hits like “Carry On My Wayward Son” and “Dust In The Wind” makes its first stop in North Texas in years. It won't be what older fans quite remember, but sure enough its members have truly carried on, making money off the name and the hits associated. If you so desire, the outfit will be at the Arlington Music Hall for anywhere from $40 to $100. — EH

Swing in the Park at Klyde Warren Park (Free)
Do you have a friend with an in on the heavy clambakes? If so, you won't want to show up to any of these affairs if your drapes are civilian or if your dance steps aren't up to par. Unfortunately, we can't help you with the rags. But this week's Social Dancing event is a night of free swing dancing at the deck park. This one will really help you keep up with all the hip cats and kittens on the dance floor, too, with an instruction period starting at 6 p.m. and social dancing at 7 p.m. First timers are welcome and there's no need to bring a partner. — CG

Nakid Magazine's 1 Year Anniversary Party
Nakid Magizine, founded by former Central Track contributing photographer, Dustin Hollywood is turning one. The celebration takes place at It'll Do. Figgy will be on the ones and twos, spinning and getting the mood right. You best bring your dancing shoes, folks. — HDB

Saturday
KXT's Summer Cut at South Side Ballroom
One of this weekend's hottest tickets is KXT 91.7-FM's fourth annual Summer Cut festival which, this year, will go down at South Side Ballroom. The move away from Gexa Energy Pavilion, where the event was held its first three years, though, is about the only real change for the so called “Happy Funtime” fest. Scottish outfit Belle and Sebastian, which hasn't been through town in something like a decade, is a good get for the fest, we concede, but the lineup as a whole — much like the station's playlist — remains as tragically white as ever. Other pale-skinned acts playing this one include the local and semi-local contingent of Sarah Jaffe, Israel Nash, Doug Burr, Repel the Robot, Jessie Frye, Calhoun and Catamaran. — CG

Reunion Lawn Party at Reunion Tower
Never been to one of these monthly lawn parties the Reunion Tower's been throwing all summer? Welp, this is your last chance of the summer to enjoy the complimentary outdoor games and live music. Food trucks and beer will be in the mix as well at your wish. Get out there and have one last bash for surviving another Dallas summer. — LK

True Widow at The Foundry (Free)
Don't forget to bring the earplugs to this one, because even the great outdoors of The Foundry's patio stage likely won't be enough to contain all the droning, swirling guitars Dallas stonegaze trio True Widow will use to melt all your salmon shorts-wearing, fried chicken-eating faces at this free show. Sleazy Mancini opens. — CG

Dragon Boat Festival at Loyd Park
In an effort to raise scholarship funds, the chamber of commerce in Grand Prairie devised a public opportunity to participate in the ancient Asian art of Dragon Boat Racing, a collective effort to get a boat across one end of a lake to another all the while, relying on the work of total strangers. It's a stressful, yet totally exhilarating experience according to the mayor of Grand Prairie. Spend your final Summer weekend, watching people ride boats why don't 'cha. It's for a good cause. — EH

Scallion at Mold Spores
From the depths of Thorndale, Pennsylvania comes Scallion, an emotionally-charged one-man electronic outfit that “in the dark, choking on humidity, is attempting true catharsis.” It's a thought that manifests itself throughout his latest EP, Summer Tour 2015 Demo. End Games and China Club round out this late Summer Denton experimental bill at a place that simply goes by Mold Spores. — EH

A Live One at Granada Theater
When the Giants won their third World Series in five years last fall, Phish was finishing up a three-night run a San Francisco's Bill Graham Civic Auditorium. Seconds after the victory was sealed, the band busted into an instrumental version of Queen's “We Are the Champions” midway through “Moma Dance,” and then, bam!, right back into its own song. It's the kind of tough-to-pull off move only a band like Phish can pull off. To think this Austin band chose the legendary jam band to pay tribute to speaks volumes about its members' collective talents. — CG

North Texas Fair and Rodeo at North Texas Fair Grounds
Maybe call up Trudy on the telephone and let her know that Charlie Daniels is the bigname headliner tapped to close out the Denton Fair's 87th annual run. — CG

One-Year Anniversary at Shannon Brewing Co.
Enjoy a Chocolate Stout while celebrating the one-year anniversary at Shannon Brewing Company all day today. The Irish-centric brewery will also have food from Hicks BBQ and local music from The Robert Gotcher Band and Tom Loris & The Reverberation. — DV

House Harkonnen, Vinyl, The Foo at Three Links
No, it's not exactly Rivers, but you'll have the opportunity to hear some Weezer songs tonight. Arlington metal outfit, The House Harkonnen, plays a set covering the lords of emo. Vinyl from Denton covers the Cars too, and Fort Worth's The Foo takes on Dave Grohl's band at this tri-city coverband attack. HDB

Design District Market at Community Beer Company
It's time again for our Dallas businesses and artists to flaunt what they've got and for us to enjoy the free samples. Outdoor markets might seem like certain death at the end of August, but not to worry there's an indoor portion in Community Beer Co.'s massive confines, which means cold beer and most importantly a dumpster pool. Danny Diamonds and Fox & the Bird will also perform at some point. — LK

Phillip Beesley at Nasher Sculpture Center
Well-known artist and architect, Phillip Beesley, comes to speak and educate all those interested of his work. Much of the work he'll be presenting on Saturday has to do with human interaction, with materials and design stems from Beesley's Living Architecture group. The lecture is free with admission. Also, some free wine comes with an RSVP. —LK

15th Anniversary (Pt. 1) at AllGood Cafe
AllGood Cafe is turning 15, which means that you might see a chicken-fried steak taking advantage of its driver's permit on the roads soon. To celebrate the occasion, AllGood is putting on two shows, the first of which takes place today with Yeels at Eels headlining. It's also pay as much as you can. Check out part one and order up some food. — HDB

Photo Wagon Two-Year Anniversary Party at Hari Mari (Free)
Dallas' original mobile photo booth, the Photo-Wagon, celebrates two-years on the streets. The 1958 Cardinal travel trailer will be parked at Hari Mari(208 S Haskell) ready to capture the magic of this party. Fill up on a variety of food and booze and go home with a permanent souvenir. If you're feeling generous, perhaps donate new, unopened children's gifts for The Birthday Party Project. And if you're not ready to go home, the after-party at Double Wide will roll deep into the night. — Evan Henry

Dierks Bentley at Gexa Energy Pavilion
As of late, Red-Dirt and Bro-Country in-betweener Dierks Bentley has ended up in a little bit of traction with the genre's obsession with drunkenness. For the last decade, Bentley has been signed to Capitol Records Nashville, and with 2014's Rider the idea is only further pushed along. In saying that, spend that hard-earned cash on some of the most over-priced beers in town as you watch him and his band fill the Gexa Energy Pavilion. — EH

Nashville Pussy, Valient Thorr at Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill
Sure, both Nashville Pussy and Valient Thorr have ripped in and out of North Texas for the last decade or so, but together? That's a whole other burst of wild, sex-infused rock 'n' roll. Is this something you as a reader can handle? Nashville Pussy sure ain't for pussies, or so we're told. And MC5's Wayne Kramer finds Valient Thorr quite striking. When a member of MC5 can vouch for you, you're in good hands. So, um, go why don't you. The Bulemics and Sons of Bitches open. — EH

Law and Order: The SVUsical at Dallas Comedy House
Crime Investigations and musicals aren't things you'd think really go together, but seems the Dallas Comedy House is host to SVUsical a blending of the two in a very humorous way. The act is each night performed live in front of a studio audience. In essence, if you know someone who's serious and in need of a laugh, we might have found your place of the evening. It closes out its run this Saturday. — EH

Vice Palace Presents: Vulgar Fashion, Sealion, Bludded Head, Def Rain at Aqua Lab
All summer Vice Palace has found solace at Aqua Lab Studios in Deep Ellum, recording live performances from some of your favorite area acts. For its fourth and final installment, Denton electronic duo, Vulgar Fashion is (temporarily?) revived, along with performances from Sealion, Def Rain as well as a new incarnation of Bludded Head. Limited to 70 in capacity, this one's sure to swell to max capacity and spill onto the streets nearby. — EH

Jack Thunder and the Road Soda (EP Release) at 1912 Nite-Club
The folks at Dreamy Life in Fort Worth are hosting an EP release show. But not just release show we've come to understand. This one's for Jack Thunder and the Road Soda's roaring riptide JT&RS EP out on a limited run of tapes. Joining them are the beloved War Party and Fungi Girls. Adding some suburban Dallas flare are The Thyroids and Jenny Robinson. This is another one of those where you'll need to come dressed in your party pants, cause this is likely to get real sweaty. — EH

Sunday
Kelly Clarkson at Gexa Energy Pavilion
Can you believe it's been 13 years since Kelly Clarkson took home the gold on the first season of American Idol? Yeesh, talk about feeling old. The mother-to-be headlines Gexa this weekend with another locally-tied outfit in tow, in the form of Arlington native Pitch Perfect alumni Pentatonix. — DV

Matt and Kim at Gilley's (Free)
Dallas loves it some Matt & Kim, which is why the bubbly indie duo rolls through town so frequently. This time, though, they're playing for free, so long as you're at least 21 and you don't mind forking your email address over to the Budweiser folks. Tough call. — CG

Joe Buck Yourself at Three Links
Buck rose to fame as the guitarist for punkabilly outift Th' Legendary Shack Shakers and later the upright bassist and sideman to several of Hank III's projects, including the hardcore hellbilly band Assjack. These days he focuses the bulk of his “bona fide evil motherfucking, one man band” Joe Buck Yourself. The Hooten Hallers open. — CG

DAMN VI at Green Elephant
The monthly aural stimulation, known as the Dallas Ambient Music Nights continues. Now in it's sixth installment, the visual and ambient performances take a more local turn as Black Taffy, Triangulum and Derek Rogers are invited back, while newcomers Collective Shadow, Martin Back and more experience DAMN for the first time. In all, this should be nothing short of both expansive and mind-melting as per usual. — EH

Donut & Beer Pairing at LUCK
If you like libations with your dessert, LUCK is doing another beer flight and sweets pairing, this time with donuts courtesy of Glazed Donut Works. Four flavors of donuts will be paired with four different brews from Fire Wheel, Oak Highlands and more. Supplies are limited, and tend to sell out super quick, so get them while they last. — Porttia Portis

Jake “The Snake” Roberts at DFW Vintage Toys
You might know Aurelian Smith Jr. from his days wrestling as Jake “The Snake” Roberts on WWE in the '80s and early '90s. He was famously on the receiving end of the first “Austin 3:16” jab. Now, you the people of North Texas can meet, and even take a selfie with the glorified legend for $25 a pop. If that's not enough, there's signed 8x10s and more. — EH

Deep Ellum Water Wars
For the grown-ass human, it takes a lot more than a pitiful little sprinkler to help an adult-sized body properly beat the heat. Enter the Deep Ellum Community Association's upcoming Water Balloon Wars event. More than just H2O-filled orbs of rubber, this neighborhood-wide party will boast a 35-foot Slip'N Slide, dunk tanks, a dumpster pool, an entire sprinkler section and, yes, a shit-ton motherfucking water balloons. What's more, when the event hits the empty lot behind the old July Alley spot come Sunday, August 30, there will be Easy Sliders and cold booze available for purchase, plus frozen treats, too. In other words: It might be about the one place in town that doesn't feel like it's seven inches from the midday sun. It's also why organizers say they anticipate tickets to sell out in advance. And, to be sure, more than 7,000 people are already RSVP'd to the thing on Facebook. In other words: Interested parties should head here to snag a couple official passes to this event while they still can. It'll cost $12 to $20 to attend the thing, but proceeds will go the 45 Fund, a local suicide prevention and awareness organization named in honor of the late Spector 45 frontman Frankie 45. — CG

“Tease it to Jesus” & “Bushwacker” Exhibitions at Webb Gallery
“Tease It To Jesus” is an exhibition featuring 35 whole prints of country music songstress Dolly Parton. For its opening reception, the folks at the Webb Gallery suggest “you dust off your wigs and get dolled up” if you know what they mean as live painting and fans douse themselves in a twangin' good time. While up until early October, it's best you make the drive and check it out. — EH

Moon Dream Alchemy 2015 at Bolsa Mercado
Aimed at raising funds for the Kikula Foundation, a non-profit organization set on educating and empowering the poverty-stricken, oppressed communities, Mike's Moon Dream Ice Cream is hosting the Moon Dream Alchemy, an Ice Cream Boozy Float party doused alcohol and deep pockets. Get drunk and full for the sake of charity. Also, George Quartz will be DJ'ing all night, so we're sure a party should ensue. — EH

Banh Mi, Blondies and Blowouts at Studio 410
Dallas-based personal chefs Living29 and Food Network vets LaLa's Cakes have decided to bring a bunch of small businesses together this Sunday funday. On hand for this one will be Living29's banh mi sandwiches, LaLa's blondies, Skyfi's headshots, specialty coffees from Losantiville Coffee Roasters and blowouts from the Studio 410 crew. This one goes from noon until everything's sold out. — CG

Cover photo by Augustas Didzgalvis via Wiki Commons. To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.