Things To Do This Weekend.

Jingle Bell Rock Out With Us At Dada.

A wise man once said, “It's the freakin' weekend, baby. I'm about to have me some fun.”

It's good to cut loose every once in awhile, especially after a long workweek. And make no mistake, living in North Texas, there's no shortage of places to unwind this weekend. Just make sure, if you do decide to hit the town tonight, that your affairs are in order.

This is especially true if you have kids. Unlike a certain Brooklyn school teach recently did, you'll definitely want to lock down a sitter before going out and getting blasted and tatted up. The authorities don't tend to look too kindly on that sort of thing.

Everyone else, though? Free to go as crazy as you damn well please. — Cory Graves

Friday
Centro-matic (Farewell Show) at Dan's Silverleaf
We won't really blame any North Texans for feeling as if the Toadies' year-long celebration of Rubberneck's 20th anniversary has maybe run its course at this point. But maybe this dismissive attitude is simply due to the fact that most people don't truly grasp what a massive feat it is for a band to simply stay together 20 years, much less while continuing to tour and release albums. The difficulties surrounding this accomplishment are something Denton luminaries Centro-matic certainly know well. And how: In September, band leader Will Johnson posted a lengthy entry on the band's official blog, announcing that, after 19 completely drama-free years together, Centro-matic will end its run following this weekend's trio of Denton shows. Wrote Johnson in that statement: “For a handful of reasons, the time finally feels right to celebrate the existence of this thing, then let it rest. I do think that the four of us will embark on some musical endeavor together again, but can't say that it will be within the realm or tone of what Centro-matic has done.” So perhaps South San Gabriel or any other of the bands' possible future alter egos will live on in some form. But after this weekend, Centro-matic, as it currently exists, won't be performing together ever again. Telegraph Canyon opens. — CG

Mo'Nique at Addison Improv
How often do you get the chance to see an Academy Award-winner do stand-up? Mo'Nique, who won her little gold statue for her villainous turn in 2009's Precious, goes back to her comedy roots with two shows in Dallas this weekend. — Stephen Young

Reece Low at Lizard Lounge (Free w/ RSVP)
RSVP and show up before 10:30 p.m. and this all-night dance party is free-to-attend. Up-and-coming Melbourne DJ Reece Low headlines, with Andy Mas, Xavier Grigsby, Matt Pylz, Gapp, Tranq, Panama, Owen Casey and Cyclops playing local support. — CG

KISS Army, Crude and Tattooed at Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill
Both KISS and Motley Crue each made stops at Dallas' Gexa Energy Pavilion earlier this summer — in the same week, in fact. If you missed one or both of those shows, this pair of tribute acts has you covered. KISS Army, in particular, has honed its act so well over the last 18 years that its hard to distinguish them from the real thing at this point. Of course, the pounds of grease paint they slather on their faces surely helps with that to a degree. — CG

The Blow at Three Links
Typically during live performances the members of electro-pop duo The Blow set up on two different stages, with one member on the main stage and another on a separate stage across the venue. We're not sure exactly how that'll work, logistically-speaking, at Three Links. Should they manage to pull it off, though, it'll be one show at the venue where listening from the sidewalk for free won't provided nearly the same experience. Being the meat in a The Blow sandwich is where it's at. Up-and-coming locals French 75 and Sudie open. — CG

It's a Wonderful Life (35mm Print) at Texas Theatre
Does the impending arrival of Christmas make you suicidal? Don't worry, you're not alone. Folks have been struggling with the true meaning of Christmas since the Depression era, when retailers like Montgomery Ward were busy inventing marketing gimmicks like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. We could all stand to take a step back and reevaluate our lives from time to time, though, just as George Bailey is forced to do in this classic Christmas flick. Catch it on the big screen tonight — especially if a lack of funds this time of year has you questioning whether you are, in fact, the richest person on earth. — CG

The Shining at Texas Theatre
What was Kubrick really trying to say with his horror classic, The Shining? Oh, man. So many questions! Was it his confession that he was the man behind the camera on the faked moon landing? Was it about America's eradication of our continent's indigenous peoples? Did he intend for it to match up perfectly when played both backwards and forwards simultaneously? Or was the whole thing just a PSA for wearing extra layers when you go outside in the snow? The world may never know. — James Wallace

Slacker's Holiday Shopping Bazaar at Dada
The thought alone of circling the NorthPark mall parking lot for 45 minutes, let alone braving the increasingly rabid throng of last minute holiday shoppers, tonight makes us want nothing more than to just say, “fuck it” and head to the bar instead. Or maybe we'll just kill two birds with one stone tonight and pick up some stocking stuffers from local merchants like Dowdy Studio Mobile Shop, Napkin Art Studios, Far Fetched Imports, Kirtland Records, Mesa Blue and Good Records at Dada and Off the Record. Shopping's way less painless with a beer in-hand, anyway. — CG

Tye Tribbett at Verizon Theatre
Tye Tribbett has truly worked his way to the top when it comes to gospel music, while remaining to true to his beliefs and who he serves. His roots can be found in his initial group Greater Anointing, who rose to national attention after sweeping the competition and earning first place in all categories at several gospel choir competitions. Nowadays, Tribbett is focused on his solo work and is an even bigger success than prior. — Chrissi Chetwood

Two Tons of Steel at Post Time
By its name alone, Two Tons of Steel is a band I'd want on my side during a fist fight. For what it's worth, this San Antonio-based rockabilly and Texas country hybrid play “louder and faster” than other similar sounding outfits. To wit: you're just as likely to hear an Elvis cover as a Ramones tune at this one. — Chase Whale

Flaco Jimenez at Kessler Theater
In a career spanning six decades accordion master and living legend, Flaco Jimenez, has won five Grammys and damn near singlehandedly popularized conjunto music, at least as far as us gringos are concerned. There's absolutely nobody that embodies the idea of Tex-Mex like this man — nobody's a bigger ambassador for the genre, either. — CG

Bobby Bare Jr. at Double Wide
Despite sharing a name with his country legend father, Immortal Records really had no idea about Bare's lineage when it signed him to his first record deal. How else can you explain the fact that his label mates were Korn and Incubus? And now, after wrapping up a tour with Guided by Voices earlier this summer, Bare bring his brand of rootsy Americana to Deep Ellum. What a long, strange trip it's been. — CG

Shadow Society: Sci Fi Comic Anime Nerdy Holiday Party at Wits End
Once a month-ish The Shadow Society likes to play dress up during its gothic/darkwave club nights. This month's theme is cosplay, though, apparently if you show up in steampunk gear, that's OK, too. — CG

A Merry TSMS Christmas at Rubber Gloves
Podcasting is all the rage these days, especially with Serial winding down its first season earlier this week. Denton's Thrift Store Movie Score cast is a semi-regular discussion of some of the worst films imaginable. Fill the void at tonight's live event they'll be showing and discussing Silent Night Deadly Night which, judging from the trailer, looks to be the most terrible Christmas flick ever committed to film. — CG

Saturday
Central Track Christmas Party at Dada (Free)
Along with our friends from Prekindle and Printed Threads, we will be joining forces to take over the friendly confines of Club Dada for the 2014 Christmas party to end all 2014 Christmas parties. There will be jams: We've got a stacked, awesomely varied bill for you featuring the margarita punks in Sealion, the soul warriors in Larry g(EE) and the hip-hop rabble-rousers in A.Dd+. There will be swag: Per usual, the crew from Printed Threads will be tossing out custom tees. There will be hugs and daps: I mean, I expect to be at last a little tipsy, personally. More important, though, is that it won't cost you very much to get in on the action at all. In fact, if you head here and drop us an RSVP to let us know you're coming, this bad boy's gonna be free to attend. Otherwise, it's still cheap — just $3 at the door without an RSVP. The idea here is that we just want people from all walks to come out and enjoy themselves at this bash — y'know, so that we can say thanks for all of the support you've shown us over these last 12 months. So let's do that. And let's get a little nuts as we do, OK? OK. — PF

The Polyphonic Spree Holiday Extravaganza at Lakewood Theater
Every city has its annual traditions come Christmastime, and, in that regard, Dallas is no different. Except that, well, it is. Nearly annually since the year 2000, Dallas has been graced each year with a holiday-themed performance from hometown heroes The Polyphonic Spree. And, since the start of this particular tradition, Dallas has had that leg up over everywhere else. An even more imperative reason to hit this one, though? As of now, it looks as if this year's blowout could be the last that the band performs at the 76-year-old Lakewood Theater. The historic theater's current tenant is set to leave the theater business behind when his lease ends at the end of January. — PF

Holiday Extravaganza After-Party at Off the Record
The official Polyphonic Spree Holiday Extravaganza after-party will go down at Off the Record after the plus-sized outfit winds things down over in Lakewood. Newlyweds Sarah Jaffe and Taylor Rea will be spinning records all night long, and might we remind you, our own holiday party will be steadily underway in the room just next door. Sounds like Deep Ellum party central. — CG

Nearly Naked Nutcracker at Trees
I'm not going to take a cheap shot at the weird implications of the title “Nearly Naked Nutcracker” (wait… oops), but this Broads and Panties event is part titillation and part and part, um, OK so maybe it's mostly just titillation. — Chelsea Upton

Centro-matic (Farewell Show) at Dan's Silverleaf
Fellow Denton luminaries, Slobberbone, open Centro-matic's second-to-last show. — CG

Down at Gas Monkey Live
During his tenure with Pantera, Anselmo helped the band shed its glam metal image on the way to becoming one of the groups that helped bring metal into the national forefront. To that end: AllMusic even suggests that 1994's Far Beyond Driven is the first quote-unquote extreme metal album to ever debut at No. 1 on the Billboard 200. And, throughout the years, Anselmo's ability alternate between deep, gruff screams to crystal clear falsetto wails has helped him remain a much-sought-after entity in the genre. Between his Louisiana-based metal supergroup Down — which headlines this bill — not to mention the now-defunct Superjoint Ritual and his solo output with The Illegals, the guy's had no trouble staying busy since Pantera's dissolution in 2003. Orange Goblin and King Parrot open. — CG

Winter Solstice Celebration at Labyrinth Walk Coffee House
Be it the birth of Christ or the return of Santa Claus, people seem to get pretty into celebrating entities whose existence they can't really prove. Light is something we can all agree on, though. Celebrate its return at this Unitarian Universalist ceremony. We hear they're an especially welcoming and tolerant bunch. — CG

Vice Palace Presents: Deathmus at Pariah
Air your grievances — in particular the one about why the fuck everyone is so goddamn cheery around the holidays — at this BYOB warehouse party for the rest of us, in The Cedars. Golden Donna, Cygnus, Mannequinz, TX Connect and Deep Shade will perform. — CG

Holiday Mockbusters: Home Alone/Christmas Vacation at Granada Theater
Ah, the film that managed to combine the action, comedy and Christmas genres in ways that Arnold Schwarzenegger and his 1996 quest for a Turbo Man action figure never could. As timeless as this Christmas classic has become, two facts about the film are still rather surprising: Not only did the film prove so popular in its original theatrical run that it stayed in theaters well past Easter, but the Guinness people have proclaimed it the “highest grossing live action comedy” ever. Tonight's showing will prove an especially hilarious one, too, as The Granada's leaving up its Twitter fall during the screening so that everyone can tweet their best one-liners. Oh, and this one's a double feature, too, with Christmas Vacation immediately following. — CG

Ray Wylie Hubbard at Hat Tricks
It's not every day you get to catch a performance from the 202nd most famous Dallasite of all time… — CG

Acousto-matic at Rubber Gloves
A band probably-not-really-called Acousto-matic will perform a happy hour show at Gloves early this evening before a similarly-named outfit performs its second-to-last show ever just down the street. The show benefits the humane society, too, if that affects your decision. — CG

“Cognitive Dissonance” Art Show at Two Bronze Doors
Here's two reasons to hit up this art exhibition tonight: for one, it features new works from Dallas musician and visual artist Gaeb Cardinale, and it'll be one of your first opportunities to try BrainDead Brewing's new Alt Bier before the Deep Ellum brewpub officially opens its doors. — CG

Bruce Robison & Kelly Willis' Holiday Shindig at Kessler Theater
We wonder how long ago these married country performers got tired of being called things like “adorable” and/or “sweethearts.” Their relationship status aside, these two are pretty qualified songwriters in their own right, penning hits for acts like The Dixie Chicks over the years, as well as a 2006 Christmas album that they'll be drawing heavily upon during a pair of shows at the Kessler this evening. — CG

Cedric the Entertainer at Verizon Theatre
As brilliant as a Chris Rock is in the new movie, Top Five, — and believe us, the film finds Rock delivering his absolute best as an actor, as a writer and as a director — perhaps the funniest stretch of the movie was when he was upstaged a bit. In this part, Rock's character, Allen recounts the night he “hit rock bottom in Houston” (LOL, Houston) and lets Cedric the Entertainer, playing a syrup-guzzling handler, completely steal the show as he does. — Kip Mooney

MK at It'll Do Club
The Detroit-based house DJ born Marc Kinchen heads up It'll Do's Christmas party this evening. It'll be good times on the dance floor, especially once the holiday spirits start flowing. — CG

Wreck the Elements (Ladies Only Bicycle Ride) at Richardson Bike Mart (White Rock Location)
It's only supposed to get down into the upper 40s during this ladies-only bike ride, still it couldn't hurt brushing up on a few cold weather biking tips before “braving the elements” this afternoon. Just know whatever happens, you won't be on your own today. Say organizers, over 100 ladies have already signed up to participate in this one. — CG

Sunday
Sorta at Twilite Lounge (Free)
For the first time in three years, the surviving members of longtime Dallas indie darlings Sorta will reunite for a free show at the bar its bassist now owns. It shouldn't be all that surprising, as this kind of thing has been happening quite a lot this year. That doesn't mean this particular reunion will be any less special, though. — CG

Trans-Siberian Orchestra at American Airlines Center
Are there multiple versions of Trans-Siberian Orchestra? If not, how does this outfit manage to tour basically the entire country in the span of the holiday season? I don't really get it. But, hey, we'll all have a chance to ponder that on tonight as the group takes its totally epic Christmas music to the AAC for a pair of performances. — CU

Centro-matic (Farewell Show) at Dan's Silverleaf
Daniel Markham and Patterson Hood open Centro-matic's last-ever show. — CG

Caviar Club Pop-Up Shop at Zoomos
Pick up a bowtie or pocket square for your most debonair loved ones, and something for yourself, too (read: spiked hot cocoa) at this holiday popup shop. Heck, they'll even gift wrap your finds for you. It doesn't get much more stress-free than that. — CG

Crunch and Brunch at Vital Fitness Studio
Exactly like it sounds, show up at 10:15 a.m. for an hour of power yoga followed up by brunch at CBD Provisions. $35 gets you access to both. Not a bad little way to start off a Sunday. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.