Things To Do On Wednesday, January 14.

Rack' Em.

If your plans this evening involve the consumption of alcohol, it's probably a good idea to make sure you purchase said hooch from a reputable bar or restaurant, and not, say, some knucklehead on the street.

Some British tourists recently learned this lesson the hard way after getting hosed by a peddler hawking $15 bottles of Jack Daniels filled with water and a mixture of urine and feces. What a fucking disgusting thing to do. An even bigger crime is that prosecutors let the guy off without any jail time.

Our advice? Stick with the following list of locales and you're guaranteed to find nothing but whiskey-filled whiskey. — Cory Graves

Speed Rack Dallas at Life in Deep Ellum
Raising money for breast cancer just got a lot more fun (hurrah for not having to run anymore marathons!) This evening, Life in Deep Ellum plays host to an all female, speed-bartending competition. Women bartenders will be competing to make the best cocktails at their fastest rate. Whoever wins, will be crowned as Miss Speed Rack Dallas and will move on to the finals in New York this summer. — Lauren Rushing

Bob Livingston at Vagabond
Back in the '70s Bob Livingston was a key figure in Austin's cosmic cowboy and outlaw movements from which legends like Willie Nelson also sprang. More recently, one of his compositions was sampled on Lloyd Banks' Platinum-selling single, “Warrior.” Then again, he's always been on the progressive end of things. — CG

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure at Sundown (Free)
As recently as this past October, Keanu Reeves told The Hollywood Reporter a long-awaited, at-least-four-years-in-the-works threequel is still very much a possibility. Currently, though, the project — which is said to involve a plot line surrounding a now grownup Bill and Ted wondering when they were going to fulfill their prophecy to save the world — is mired in “the business part of show business.” In the meantime, it's a good time to check out the original while enjoying half-price whiskies and $2 bottled beers. — CG

Sean B. Carroll at Horchow Auditorium (Free)
Award-winning scientist, writer, educator and film producer, Sean B. Carroll, will deliver a talk called “Jacques Monod and Albert Camus: A Scientist's and a Philosopher's Daring Adventures from the French Resistance to the Nobel Prize,” an example of a tale where art and science are unmistakably intertwined. — CG

Repo Man at Alamo Drafthouse
One of the quintessentially '80s films, Repo Man stars a 22-year-old Emilio Estevez as a punk rocker turned repo man, who doesn't know that his latest legally-boosted Chevy houses a secret in its trunk that could destroy us all. Even better? The soundtrack is loaded with '80s punk and hardcore tunage from the likes of Black Flag and Circle Jerks. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.