Brothers Don't Shake Hands. Brothers Gotta Hug.

Here: Let this Florida woman show you how not to make weed disappear quickly.

Long story short: Having clearly not seen Super Troopers, this woman wolfed down the entire bag of stinky green in hopes of not getting in more trouble for the paraphernalia when cops caught her driving on the wrong side of the tracks.

She failed to remember she had just swallowed an entire bag of drugs — or that cop cars have security cams.

Here's hoping you use your best judgment when considering tonight's options. — Chase Whale

58th Anniversary at Norma's Cafe
Norma's is a must for all things diner food-related, but they definitely make some of the best pies in town. And they've been serving them up in Oak Cliff since this date in 1956! To celebrate its anniversary, they'll be serving up their famous chicken fried steak, meatloaf and chicken and dressing for the same $1.79 price they did when they first opened their doors. — Melissa Mackaly

Tommy Boy Quote-a-Long at Alamo Drafthouse
Today, the Drafthouse is celebrating dynamic duos in cinema with one of the best in comedy — the late, great Chris Farley and David Spade. It's a shame Farley died way before his time; his comedy is still tough to beat. Enjoy it aloud tonight as Tommy Boy will be screening as a quote-a-long. — Chase Whale

Soylent Green at The Magnolia
Tonight only, the Magnolia is showing Richard Fleischer's Soylent Green starring Charlton Heston and Edward G. Robinson (The Ten Commandments) in his final performance. The film's sequel, Soylent White just wasn't the same without him. — CW

CoLab Tuesdays at Wits End (Free)
Every Tuesday, Dallas improv hip-hop outfit CoLab performs on the Wits End rooftop along with its alterna-soul brethren Friday's Foolery and a special guest. This week's guest is Emotion Brown & the Cosmos. — CG

Tramp Species of The American Southwest at The Public Trust
Come for the one-night only photo exhibition, courtesy of photo-punk/filmmaker Bill Daniel, but stay for a performance from ex-Bad Livers fiddler, Ralph White, who will make all kinds of racket this evening while a collection of Daniel's found footage is projected behind him. Following all that will be a screening of Daniel's hobo graffiti doc Who is Bozo Texino?. — Cory Graves

Sage Francis at Dada
Indie rapper Sage Francis' just-released Copper Gone LP is a healthy mix of noise rap blasts, wordy, intellectual rhymes and loads of mostly critical commentary on the often laughable state of mainstream hip-hop. It's currently streaming over at Spin. B. Dolan and Sleep of Oldominion open. — CG

Jose James at Kessler Theater
The soothing presence of Jose James' silky smooth vocals over electronic, hip-hop style rhythms has earned the singer the title of “jazz singer for the hip-hop generation.” The fact that he'll mix in everything from jazz standards to grunge influences into his sets makes him one of the most diverse acts of this generation. Locals Dustin Cavazos and Buffalo Black open. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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