Be Awesome.
Earlier this year, some irresponsible parents got 17-year-old Cincinnati gorilla needlessly murdered when they let their kid fall into his enclosure at the city’s zoo. He subsequently became a meme, because internet. And, more recently, a thing people have been searching for on Pornhub.
Why tho? There’s way better things to be searching for. Like something to do tonight, for instance. And if that does happen to be what you’re after, look no further. The information you seek is below. — Cory Graves
Heart, Joan Jett, Cheap Trick at Gexa Energy Pavilion
Cheap Trick is celebrating its recent induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by heading out on tour with a couple of other HOF acts, 2015 inductees Joan Jett & the Blackhearts and 2013 inductees Heart. — CG
Grubes Bobblehead Night at Dr Pepper Ballpark
The answer to the question, “Where Grubes at?” will henceforth always be “on the mantle,” so long as you hit up his Thirsty Thursday night at the Rough Riders’ ballpark, where they’ll be giving away limited edition Michael Gruber bobblehead dolls, and you also choose the mantle to store your prize. They may not be able to fix a horse’s bones, but at least they can figure out how to turn Grubes’ likeness into doll form. — CG
Wifisfuneral at Three Links
Floridian teenager Wifisfuneral grinds a hell of a lot harder than most high school-aged kids. He’s rapped at festivals and self-released albums that Earl Sweatshirt has tweeted about. $ki Mask The Slump God and Danny Towers open. — CG
Wet Hot American Summer at Alamo Drafthouse (Cedars)
if you’ve ever been to summer camp as a child, you know this movie isn’t anywhere close to what you actually experienced. But it’s also exactly how we wished it could be. — SJ
Taco or Beer Challenge TEA Fund/Denton at Harvest House
Oh tacos and beer; how we could speak of how much we love you every day. You do a number on the good ol’ tummy, but we always come running back. This time, that rumble down under is to help the TEA fund for abortion accessibility. — SJ
The Supersuckers at Dan’s Silverleaf
Twenty-four years after its hard-rocking Sub Pop debut, The Supersuckers has come full circle. After toying with genres like country and cow-punk over the years, the band’s currently on a straight ahead rock trip. — CG
Improv Night at Spinster Records
Free show. Free beer. Free laughs. What better combination is there than that? — SJ
Ace Frehley at Gas Monkey Live
Ace Frehley is a guitarist and founding member of the legendary rock band Kiss. He is known worldwide for his excellent guitar work and considered highly influential, and has had the most successful solo career out of all the members of Kiss — which isn’t surprising, because Kiss fucking sucks. — Paul Wedding
Ninkasi Last Band Standing: The Hendersons vs Chucho at The Common Table (Free)
The Hendersons and Chucho will battle it out at the Common Table as part of the summer spanning concert collaboration between Untapped Fest, Spune and Oregon’s Ninkasi Brewing Company. Dubbed Last Band Standing. It’s like battle dome, except with a soundtrack and Oregonian craft beer. — CC
Cristela Alonzo at Texas Theatre
She was the first Latina to create, produce and star in her own network television sitcom with complete artistic autonomy. Now she’s back where it all began. I’m talking about Cristela Alonzo, of course, who will be doing an intimate stand-up bit at the Texas Theatre. — CC
Rifftrax Live: Mothra at Cinemark 17
RiffTrax is an online comedy series, where some dudes named Mike, Kevin and Bill critique films with humor. The critical troupe is making its way to Cinemark 17 for a live “riff” of the Toho Studios B-grade monster movie Mothra. — CC
Steve-O at Addison Improv
The ability to staple his balls to his leg and stand up and tell jokes in front of people? Is there anything this man can’t do? — CG
Bobby’s World at Dada
No, Howie Mandel won’t be there doing any high-pitched cartoon voiced. But Bobby Sessions will be, and he’ll be doing his rapping with a live band consisting of RC & the Gritz. Zyah also perofmrs, and John “All/Everything” Stewart will DJ. — CG
Modern Icon Event at Frye
The coolest boot store around, and one of NorthPark’s latest additions is releasing its new fall line tonight, and celebrating with light refreshments from 6 to 8 p.m. Check it! — CG