Alec Spicer
We Asked Our Readers If And What They’d Rather Spend $10 Million On Instead Of A Needless Fountain — And They Didn’t Disappoint.
After we ran last week’s Would You Rather poll, the one-percent simps (as they always do) chimed in with their go-to defenses of “it’s their money, who cares.”
Which, uh, kinda seems like a wholly obtuse response when our fellow North Texans are waiting hours in food drive lines.
Sure, the wealthy Dallas couple who donated the funds are apparently known for their philanthropic endeavors in the city, but their decision to shell out $10 million for a water fountain in the middle of a pandemic — a decision the Dallas Morning News was all too ready to defend — is just begging for a ruling from that most unforgiving jury that is the internet.
Since we already made the case for spending that money on food insecurity and improved public transportation last week, we’ve decidedly to use this space to highlight some of the suggestions that our sublimely chaotic Central Track readers said they would do with $10 million — because, for all of the snark y’all laced in your answers, they’re still arguably better suggestions than a knock-off Disney World Tomorrowland installation.
Never change, Central Track readers.
We really do love you.
Jack In The Box Tacos.
They aren’t worth it, but we appreciate the mathematic metrics here.
A haircut for our founder.
Tread lightly, he’s sensitive.
Anything.
Anything? Even a 10-story-high cephalopod statue of Dallas founder John Neely Bryan? Even that?
Drugs.
iT’s tHeiR mONeY wHo CaREs.
Ted Cruz dart board.
We can see the “so much for the tolerant left!” tweets now.
A modest Dallas stimulus.
There seems to be some discrepancy between these two readers, but either one is still enough for everyone in Dallas to get at least 12 Jack in the Box tacos.
A more expensive desk for Mayor Eric Johnson.
A $22,000 desk wasn’t enough!
Our moms.
OK, thanks even for that suggestion, we guess…
Aid to people who need it. 
See, our readers get it.