Secret of the Ooze.

A Dallas Man Wants Your Help In Reuniting Vanilla Ice with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Earlier this month, the Dallas Observer's Mixmaster blog ran an awesome piece on a group of area creatives that had spent countless hours and spent upwards of $20,000 in building themselves some studio-quality Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costumes for no real apparent reason aside from that it seemed like a fun idea.

Our guess is that Jared Guynes saw that piece, too. And that he, like us, thought it was a pretty fun read.

But whereas the rest of us saw the piece and immediately thought, “Hey, that's kinda cool!” or “Wow, that's a lot of money to spend on a hobby!” it seems Guynes' wheels got turning in the other direction: Hence this, a crowd-funding effort launched by Guynes to unite Vanilla Ice with these faux versions of his old “Ninja Rap” collaborators in a live concert setting on Saturday, February 22. 2014.

According to his Crowd Tilt page, it's this man-child's “dream” to see these two entities performing live together much like they did in 1991's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.

Also part of said dream: That the “most amazing party you have ever seen in your life” will also feature a magician, a vintage pinball arcade and some DJs.

Which is all fine and good — great, even — until you look at the bottom line. After having reached out the manager of the Dallas-born Vanilla Ice, to the folks at the South Side Ballroom (nee the Palladium) and, we assume (or at least hope, at the very least), to the men with the costumes themselves, Guynes' dream party is going to cost him, by his estimation, at least $35,897.44 to pull off.

Hence the fact that he's asking those interested in supporting his cause to donate at least $50 (or more!) to his cause and help make his vision a reality.

It's tough not to feel as if Guynes is being hosed here, though. $35,000 is a lot of money. And, call us crazy, but it's hard to believe that Grover's Bar & Grill in Frisco dropped anywhere near that kind of dough when it hosted Ice for a show of its own just this past September.

Point is, we feel like someone here — either Vanilla Ice, the South Side Ballroom or potentially even Guynes himself — is acting awful greedy. This event shouldn't cost that much. Certainly not $50 a head.

Also, we're pretty sure that the Gas Monkey dudes would foot this entire bill, host it at their new venue and turn it into an episode of their reality show if someone asked.

So, anyway, someone should do that. Just seems like a perfectly logical fit, no?