The DFW Dining Scene Is Still Growing At An Exceptional Rate, So We’ve Created This Quick Form For Any Aspiring Restauranteur Looking To Open Their Doors ASAP.

Dallas knows how to party — and how to dine.

It feels like so many restaurants are popping up every week, and with out-of-towners looking to invest their own time and money into the city’s culinary landscape, there’s barely any time to even think!

Now more than ever, this means literally anyone can get in on the booming restaurant business here in DFW.

Here at Central Track, we’ve created a quick form — also known as the FBVG-69 form — that will do all of the planning for you based on trend analysis.

Thing is, even in the quick time it took you to read this, someone has likely already generated a new concept you might be thinking about. We’re pressed for time here, people! Let’s move!

Without further delay, dive down below to start planning the next hottest restaurant in town.

  1. Choose the name of your restaurant. Don’t worry, we’ll be using our special generator to engineer the name of it based on your choices. Feel free to write in your own choice but do not get creative, please!
    • Name of an established bar from a different state.
    • Two nouns and and ampersand. (ex. Fish & Hook, Tacos & More Tacos.)
    • A word or phrase in Spanish.
    • Someone else’s name.
    • A write-in. (Again, do NOT get creative!) _______________________________
  1. Choose a food concept. No write-in spaces — these are your only options.
      • Hot Chicken.
      • Watered down Asian cuisine with a questionably racist menu.
      • Overpriced Sysco-supplied American fare.
      • Italian-American cuisine. (Must pay a tribute to Campisi’s monthly.)
      • Tacos and tequila (also known as simply “Tex-Mex.”)
      • A BBQ fusion, because Texas, right?
      • ℌ𝔬𝔱 𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔫 (𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔣𝔩𝔞𝔯𝔢!)
  1. Every restaurant needs a chef. While there are many talented folks to choose from, please best select the ideal temperament of your head chef.
      • “Instagram chef” with high follower count and no follow-through; mediocre recipes pulled from Bon Appétit.
      • A decent human being that will move onto greener pastures in 3-6 months.
      • Workhorse alcoholic with the occasional problematic outburst.
      • A cocky, loud and classically trained embarrassment who has cool tattoos.
      • Attractive, talented and short-tempered, but not above sleeping with staff or guests.
  1. Do you seriously expect anyone to come into a restaurant that doesn’t serve booze? This isn’t your grandmother’s kitchen! Let’s talk bar program: What’s going on the cocktail menu?
      • A craft-craft cocktail spot where every drink has several touches and the menu is as thick as the Bible.
      • Instagram-style cocktails where the margarita is served in a lime-shaped vessel in front of a neon sign that reads “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!” Also, there is glitter somewhere.
      • Each drink has a tiny clothespin on the rim. Every single one.
      • Agave-based cocktails served in a (gasp) speakeasy-style space with (gasp) candles everywhere and the name of each drink is in Spanish with funny conjugations because it ripped straight from Google translate.
      • An elevated bar ~* experience *~ with an eLeVaTeD 𝓁𝒾𝒷𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 selection where each element has been carefully ELEVATED and CURATED into a unique and E L E V A T E D drinking experience for all guests north of 75.
  1. Lastly, choose your décor package.                                                                                                                   
      • Trucker’s Delight: kitschy, hodge-podge and year-round Christmas decorations. No discernable difference between you, Dolly Python or a hoarder’s basement.
      • So Safe It’s Boring: marble tabletops, air plants, fake foliage and gold trimmings. Neon sign optional.
      • The Gentrification Special: string lights, wooden tables, exposed bricks, metal bar stools.
      • Mexican Caricature: cactus, exposed brick and patron saints on the wall. Folks will make no mistake they’re eating and drinking Mexican-style because there will be a giant Pancho Villa portrait staring straight at them.
      • Just Vibes: no clear visual direction at all — money is money.

Once you’ve checked all of your boxes, be sure to email jessi[at]centraltrack[dot]com for submissions.

Alternatively, you are welcome to print, fill out and fax the savable form below. When we receive your form, it will go into processing where it could take anywhere between two weeks to 10 years!

Be sure to submit all the required forms to the state for licenses so you can legally operate — just be warned that during a pandemic, this is subject to change at literally any moment. For added fun during this time, we recommend you take out a couple of loans and put all of your life’s work into this entrepreneurial project. Also, be prepared to get jerked around from time to time by a government that only knows how to sit down and order at a restaurant — not run one.

Welcome to the DFW dining scene and thank you for making Dallas dining even better! Or worse.

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