You're Really Flying High This Week, Irving Mayor Beth Van Duyne!
Dear Irving Mayor Beth Van Duyne,
How's it going for you today? Pretty well, we'd imagine, after your awesome performance yesterday while proclaiming September 21 as “Red Bull Flugtag Day” in your city to honor that homemade flying contraption event y'all will be hosting at Lake Carolyn.
Not content to just hand the Red Bull folks a boring key to the city or something, you took matters into your own hands, entering the ceremony in — befitting the event's sponsor — the most extreme way we can can think of, by skydiving into the field next to the Irving Convention Center.
From what we hear, you did it pretty stylishly, too, landing cleanly on your feet and sagely remembering to wave to the crowd. You even tweeted a selfie from the plane on your personal account, showcasing your fearless grin.
Not bad for a politician.
We dug the speech you made after landing, too. You said that you were especially happy to have a transportation-related event in Irving since “Irving has always been about transportation.†We're impressed that you, like we do, support the future viability of ridiculous-looking human-powered flying machines as a legitimate means of conveyance.
As embattled as you've been lately — what with a fight with your own city council over entertainment district developments in Las Colinas, disputes with a subtweeting reporter from the Dallas Morning News and your city's losing both the Cowboys and the Byron Nelson — we think it's pretty rad that you've kept things together enough to show your constituents what a cool mayor you really are.
You just keep being you, Mayor Van Duyne. Keep fighting the good fight, keep throwing shade at the haters on Twitter, and feel free to parachute into as many meetings and ceremonies as you can.
This is a America, dammit.
Yours truly,
Stephen and the rest of the Central Track Staff