Asshats of the Week.

What On Earth Could You Possibly Be Protesting At Dealey Plaza, Westboro Baptist Church?

Dear Phelps Clan and the Rest of the Westboro Baptist Church,

How are you guys doing today? All geared up for your weekend swing through Texas?

We're sure you are, as you never miss an opportunity to show up where you aren't wanted — which is literally everywhere — and harass people.

Honestly, we were a little hesitant about making you this week's Asshats honorees. Y'all seem to thrive off attention like this, and there is an excellent argument to be made for simply ignoring you.

Here's the thing though: This column spotlights some of the worst things going on in Dallas, and, this weekend, you assholes are the worst thing being inflicted on our city by far.

In other words: Just because something is mind-numbingly obvious doesn't mean it isn't also true.

Plus, considering your outrageous misinterpretations of the Bible and every other piece of Christian dogma, we don't really think your reading comprehension is the best and we're not too worried about you getting any satisfaction from seeing this, anyway.

Even so, we have to say: The whole thing — your trip to Dallas, that is — just doesn't make any sense. Your beliefs and all the ridiculous stuff you have problems with are exceedingly hard to parse, but, as we understood it, about the only group you didn't expel idiotic hate about was straight, white, Christian men. Yet, here we are, with you guys planning to make an incoherent statement about President Kennedy at Dealey Plaza on Saturday. Then you're off to the Baylor-Texas Tech game in Arlington, which, again, doesn't make any damn sense. What does football have to do with hating people for no reason? For that matter, what do any of the events you guys show up at have to do with the bile you guys spread?

It's almost as confusing as it is infuriating.

More than anything though, every time we see photos or footage from one of your repulsive demonstrations, we feel tremendous sorrow. You, the adults of WBC, have every right — thanks in part to the soldiers whose funerals you disgrace — to be as hateful and, frankly, as stupid as you want to be. We're glad that you have the right to say whatever fucking horrible thing you want. What's almost unfathomably messed up, though, is that you bring your kids with you. Your kids, who can't give any sort of meaningful consent to coming along, are always there, spewing invective for reporters and cameras and holding your disgraceful signs. Your hate is an infection that they will have to fight for the rest of their lives. And you don't even seem to care, let alone show any awareness of it.

We know it doesn't matter to you, but it needs to be said: We, the citizens of Dallas do not want you here, you're not welcome. Diversity is a huge part of what gives our city its vibrancy.

That you think we would reconsider it for you is some powerful, laughable hubris.

Fuck You,
Stephen Young and the Rest of the Central Track Staff

Cover photo by J.C. Wilmore, via WikiCommons.