Pete Freedman
The Story Behind Today's Leaked Jerry Jones Photos Is Remarkably Insane, Involves Son of God.
Earlier today, something of a stir in Cowboys nation arose as TerezOwens.com, “the world's most popular sports gossip blog” (debatable), unleashed this photo-containing post unto the world that allegedly showed Cowboys owner Jerry Jones groping, rubbing his crotch against and doing something all kinds of gross with two women in what appears to be a bathroom.
All crazy enough stuff in its own right, except it's really only the start. Not long after that initial post, Deadspin followed up with its own story on the matter — and then followed that post up with another that takes a more in-depth look at the source behind these photos' coming to light.
And, to be sure, it's here where things really go off the rails. The photos are the property, it seems of a man named Frank Hoover, who, despite just posting these images to his Twitter account this past weekend, has been in possession of them since at least January — if his totally and completely batshit 20-page manifesto explaining their background is at all to be believed, which is a leap to make in its own right.
Because, for one thing, Hoover believes himself to be the son of God.
And, really, that's just the tip of the iceberg. We read the entire 20-page document. Below, let's take a look at the weirder parts of Hoover's spiel.
• That whole son of God thing. “He sent me to you,” Hoover writes in his Jones-directed screed. “Jerry, you and the Cowboys are the Star we will use to Light My Path. I spent 5 years suffering, losing all my possessions, giving the rest away to charity and then living poor. I almost lost my mind until God revealed my true identity. On 7/11/12, 7 days after the God Particle was found in France, I was awoken by God and told to find you, Mr. Jones, to let the world know that God’s Son has risen.” Hoover then says that the photos, which are contained within the document, albeit in very grainy forms, are meant to serve as proof of the above.
• Hoover, in part, believes he is the son of God because of his birthday and his mother's birthday. Loose links between the ordainment of Pope Frances, the 200-year anniversary of the American Revolution, a promotion given to George Washington and the annual celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day confirm it. The Blood Moon and a cyst once removed from Hoover's hand somehow serve as further proof. Writes Hoover: “The stars and planets were signs predicting my return and showing me the way.” This all became clear to Hoover shortly after the 2012 discovery of the Higgs boson, which is sometimes referred to as the “God particle.”
• This is not the first diatribe Hoover's penned for Jones' eyes. At the rant's start, Hoover says outright, “This is the third and final letter I'm going to write to you.” Hoover then expresses disappointment at Jones' “people” for not putting Jones in touch with him.
• Hoover once owned a mirror he believes Jones owned. His ex-girlfriend bought it on Craigslist and the guy who sold it to her said “it was from your suite at Cowboys Stadium.” In Hoover's mind, this constitutes as “karma.:
• Hoover is doing all this to help Jones. He “didn't go to the police because the media attention would ruin your reputation and cause harm.” So, instead, he's now posted the images and his story to social media, tagging news outlets in the process. Obviously.
• Hoover and an associate may or may not have once linked Jamie Foxx up with Mark Cuban. This was some time around the Mavericks' 2011 NBA Championship win. Hoover never appears to have had direct contact with Cuban, but his friend has, according to Hoover's account. Anyway, Hoover trusted his friend — a man named “24K, as in 24-Karat Gold” — because he has a tattoo of The Last Supper on his neck.
• Hoover, for a time, took low-market Apple TVs acquired for $99 apiece, tinkered with them and sold them for “more than $750 per unit.” He sold these revamped televisions to “drug dealers, pimps or anyone else” and did this because he used a software named “Eden,” and “Eden” and “Apple” are both “mentioned in the bible in the Garden of Eden,” naturally.
• Hoover now fears for his life. This is a little unclear, but it seems Hoover and 24K had a disagreement over a missing $20,000. Hoover now believes 24K wants to kill him.
• Hoover has learned that the women in the leaked photos — and one in particular — were plants used in an attempt to extort funds from Jones. Writes Hoover: “The entire plot was a setup planned so [24K] could extort a large sum of cash from you.”
• A movie script Hoover wrote in 2005 predicted that all of this would happen. He also wrote some short stories and poems in 1993 that were “about the future.” But back to that script: It tells the tale of “a white cowboy named BJJ (B Jerry Jones) and his black nemesis (Kevion). This script, which I will show you when we meet, describes events related to your extortion Jerry.” Crazy, right?
