Let’s Take A Look Back At Central Track’s 20 Most-Clicked-Upon Stories Of 2020 And Determine What Their High Pageview Counts Say About You, Our Readers.

Listen, I’m not gonna use this space to talk about what a wild year this was.

We’re all very well aware of that fact.

Instead, like we always do at this time, I’m just gonna dive right into the Central Track stories that y’all clicked on on the most over the last 12 months and try to determine what they tell us about you, our readers.

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Below, you’ll find just that: the 20 Central Tracks stories folks clicked on the most in 2020, a year that also just so happened to be (by far) our highest-ever trafficked year in nine years of operation.

Apologies to Shredded Cheese Wife Guy and most of the protest coverage we were acclaimed for this year — here’s what y’all clicked on the most this last year.

Central Track’s 20 Most Popular Stories Of 2020.

20.
SONG OF THE DAY: TREY LEWIS — “DICKED DOWN IN DALLAS”

What it tells us about you: Y’all love a song with objectively insane lyrics.

19.
CORONAVIRUS NEWS BRIEFS: SEE WHERE DALLAS’ INFECTED ARE.

What it tells us about you: Y’all wanted to know how badly your immediate surroundings were infected — and, shit, we can’t even blame you.

18.
THE 20 MOST POPULAR PORN STARS FROM DALLAS-FORT WORTH.

What it tells us about you: Google was the main avenue into this 2015 story about area-sprung porn stars that we should really update sooner or later for your horny asses! Hey, we get it: This was a lonely year.

17.
LONGTIME COLUMNIST JIM SCHUTZE OUT AT DALLAS OBSERVER.

What it tells us about you: Y’all enjoy hot media gossip as much as we do, turns out!

16.
FORT WORTH TELEVANGELIST BLOWS ‘WIND OF GOD’ ON COVID-19.

What it tells us about you: Y’all love a little evangelical hypocrisy and absurdity.

15.
THINGS TO DO IN DALLAS: GO TO A PROTEST.

Photo by Carly May.

What it tells us about you: This weekly-updated piece about the latest happenings around town in this protest-filled year was a hit because, God bless y’all, you really give a fuck about making this world a better place.

14.
A LIST OF PERMANENT DALLAS CLOSURES DUE TO COVID-19.

What it tells us about you: Y’all understand just how tragic this year was for our local economy.

13.
HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN REDNECK POOL.

Photo by Ben Smithson.

What it tells us about you: Hey, if you’re gonna be sheltering in place, this 2017 piece offers a good suggestion into making your homestead a little more bearable — especially in Texas’ brutal summers.

12.
POWER TRIP VOCALIST RILEY GALE IS DEAD AT 34.

Photo by Vera Velma.

What it tells us about you: Y’all rightly respect a legend.

11.
AFTER EXITING THE FAN, BEN & SKIN LAND AT 97.1 THE EAGLE.

What it tells us about you: Y’all love growing the show.

10.
CORONAVIRUS BRIEFS: DALLAS’ LATEST ZIP CODE MAP (& MORE).

What it tells us about you: Seriously, y’all really wanted to be sure your neighborhood wasn’t in deep shit.

9.
DALLAS DRUG DEALERS REPORT SALES SPIKE DURING PANDEMIC.

Photo by Kathy Tran.

What it tells us about you: Y’all were looking to score, maybe?

8.
VIDEO SHOWS COPS LAUGHING AFTER SHOOTING DALLAS PROTESTER.

What it tells us about you: Y’all needed — and maybe even found — proof that ACAB.

7.
THINGS TO DO IN DALLAS THIS WEEK: STAY THE FUCK HOME.

Photo by Karlo X. Ramos.

What it tells us about you: Y’all are some responsible motherfuckers!

6.
DALLAS ADVERTISING GIANT THE RICHARDS GROUP IS FUUUUCKED.

What it tells us about you: Y’all were either worried about your jobs, engaging in a little schadenfreude or just appropriately tired of old-ass white men spewing racist bullshit.

5.
A DALLAS KAREN LOSES IT OVER A PIECE OF FABRIC.

What it tells us about you: Y’all love mocking Karens. Hey, us too!

4.
LATEST DALLAS COUNTY MAP SHOWS CORONAVIRUS’ AREA SPREAD.

What it tells us about you: For real, y’all have some NIMBY-fearing energy.

3.
A DEFINITIVE RANKING OF EVERY FLAVOR WING AT PLUCKERS.

What it tells us about you: Four years into this 2017 piece popping up on this year-end list, surely you agree with us in thinking it’s just insane at this point that Pluckers doesn’t advertise with us.

2.
PLANO WOMAN SUES BRAD PITT, THOUGHT SHE’D MARRY HIM.

What it tells us about you: Y’all enjoy a good laugh as much as the next guy.

1.
NEW PROPOSED TEXAS BILL WOULD MAKE RUNNING OVER PROTESTERS LEGAL.

Photo by Ashley Gongora.

What it tells us about you: Probably nothing, tbh. This 2017 article of ours popped this year in the wake of nationwide and local George Floyd protests because assholes on the right wanted to know if it was legal to run over protesters (it still isn’t), and Google and alt-right Facebook groups kept feeding people this story for whatever reason — and jerks kept clicking on it even after we updated it to let people know this bill died early on in session. Actual readers of ours are consistently cool, but anyone who was actively seeking this piece out in 2020 is a certifiable turd that can go fuck themselves, full stop.

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