CentreMake Musicals Great Again.
What happens when you combine Pornhub with the once popular “Bad Lip Reading” series? Something called Porndub, apparently. (It’s OK, the link is totes SFW, we swear.)
Jokes are cool.
You know what else is cool? Deciding to go out this weekend and already having a bunch of options scoped out for you in advance. Boom. Here you go. — Cory Graves
Friday
Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa at Gexa Energy Pavilion
You’re asked to not bring any handheld fans to this show, as both artists only combine for a total weight of 5 pounds and could be blown off stage. But seriously, it’s a good thing this stop on the “High Road” tour is outdoors — I mean, unless contact highs are your bag. — Sidney Johnson
Women Texas Film Festival at Texas Theatre
For its inaugural year, the Women Texas Film Festival (WTxFF) will be a festival focused solely on the work of female filmmakers. Here’s what we know so far: The festival will take place from August 19 to 21 at the Texas Theatre. Like most festivals, there will be full features, shorts blocks and even two late night shorts programs to quench your genre and horror needs. This weekend’s screenings include Rosemary Myers’ Girl Asleep, Mira Lippold-Johnson’s The Letter E, Christina Kallas’ 42 Seconds of Happiness, Sharie Vance’s Miz Markley & Me and Rachel Talalay’s On the Farm, along with numerous shorts. — Angela Jones
Hospitality Suite at South Side Music Hall
Since leaving his job as play by play man for the Dallas Stars, Ralph Strangis has caught the acting bug. He stars in this play, which profiles three workers at an industrial-lubricant company and their interest in a stranger who could potentially save their failing company. This one’s for the potty-mouths so bring your soap for the children. — SJ
The Sandlot at Inwood Theatre
Cmon; who didn’t watch this movie 3-billion times on VHS in their pajamas with their siblings? We sure did, and we’re pretty sure Benny could still have our sisters if he wanted. “The Jet” returns to the big screen at midnight. — SJ
Jonas Martin (Album Release) at Double Wide
Jonas Martin’s humor is dry and his lyrics are deep, personal glimpses into his psyche. Despite these trademark characteristics, the singer-songwriter rarely makes an event of them. Martin spares listeners the excess, only to manifest his interpersonal thoughts through music. And before he moves off to New York, he’ll be leaving us with his new sophomore album, The Color Scheme, which comes out tonight. — Calvin Cashen
Trump’d: The Musical at Dallas Comedy House
Everyone’s favorite, mostly least-favorite, Republican candidate, Donald Trump, has been the center of mockery ever since his days as a reality TV host. With the presidential election gradually approaching, the Dallas Comedy House has thrown together a sketch musical event centered around one soul purpose — to roast the fuck out of the Drumpf. — CC
Multiple Maniacs at Texas Theatre
John Waters is known to devolve into depravity without so much as a “How do you do?” The director’s grotesque, manically endearing second feature Multiple Maniacs is hitting the Texas Theatre for those twisted enough to enjoy. — CC
Taylor Gang at Avenu
The tattooed, Chuck Taylor wearing, dope-smoking cool kids will come in droves to see their leader. If you don’t know who that is, you’d better get up-to-date on the smokers culture of the last eight years. — SJ
North Texas State Fair and Rodeo at North Texas State Fairgrounds
Big Tex may not be making an appearance at this one, and you probably won’t be able find any fried Jell-O either, for that matter. “Some fair this sounds like,” you’re probably saying to yourself sarcastically. Still, this event has taken place annually in Denton for the past 88 years now, drawing an average of 100,000 visitors during its annual, nine-day run. Performances from the Josh Abbott Band and Sam Riggs kick this year’s run off. — CG
Little Beards, _Name, Funeral Parlor, Mother II at Crown and Harp (Downstairs)
Young bucks be aware, this is a 21 and up show for the grown up’s. Little Beards hasn’t played a show in a really long time. It’s nice to have them back. — SJ
Ball & Parlay (Screw Night) at Crown and Harp (Upstairs, Free)
It’s no secret Black Taffy loves his screw, and we do, too. The promethazine infused style of DJing began in Houston via the real king of the south, DJ Screw, but you already knew that. It’s a Texas thing. Mayne hol’ up. — SJ
“Aura Workshop” at Shotgun
Texas-based filmmaker/photographer Bill Daniel and Tel Aviv artist Shlomit Strutti began a trek across North America late July to promote a tour featuring pop-up style art, installations, video projections — pretty much anything to stimulate the senses. Daniel and Strutti will assemble the show in Dallas at Shotgun. — CC
Late Night at the Dallas Museum of Art
Don’t expect some Night At The Museum-type situation, but an elaborate assortment of art pieces to gander at and a full itinerary of screenings, discussions and music concerts to keep your night fully-booked. — CC
’til Midnight at the Nasher Sculpture Center (Free)
This outdoor event kicks off at 6 in the afternoon and concludes at midnight, duh. That gives you six whole hours to socialize with fellow Dallasites, picnic on the lawn, catch a flick, sample the best regional music there is to offer and just engage under the night sky. — CC
Stanton Warriors + Punks Showcase at It’ll Do Club
English DJ/producer duo Stanton Warriors hit the light-up dancefloor with a few other acts from the Punks record label they also run. — CG
Enchanting Raagas at the Crow Collection of Asian Art
Enjoy the work of this freshly created collective of musicians from the UK, featuring Arnab Chakrabarty on sarod, sitarist Roopa Panesar and Sanju Sahai on tabla. Taking place at the Crow Collection of Asian Art, this performance will mark the collective’s live US debut. — CC
Puddle of Mudd at The Prophet Bar
You fucking hate them. It’s OK, the live show is a train wreck these days. Nothing short of embarrassing. — CG
Ephwurd at Lizard Lounge
Fuck, er, sorry, the Ephwurd (read: Datsik and Bais Haus) will rock the party at the World Famous Lizard Lounge this weekend. — CG
Berry Street Back to School Bash at The Aardvark
The TCU kids are gearing up for the fall term, sending off the summer with one last big rager. 88 Killa, Dezi 5, Kites and Boomerangs and several others perform at this two-day bash. — CG
Peach Kings, Mobley at Lola’s
Genres will clash at this diverse concert lineup. Headlining this subversive affair is the incredibly rootsy, bluesy rock group The Peach Kings, with opening acts from the icy synth pop outfit Mobley and percussion-heavy pop group Lost Element. — CC
Summerland Tour at Billy Bob’s
Everclear’s been assembling fine batches of two-hit wonders from the ’90s for these summer tours for a few years now. This one is probably the strongest lineup they’ve rolled out to date, including Sugar Ray, Lit and Sponge on the undercard. — CG
Vicki Lawrence at Arlington Music Hall
This “two-woman show” features Lawrence telling jokes and singing songs like the undeniable “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia,” as well as the titular character from Mama’s Family giving her own cantankerous observations about the world. — CG
The Greyboy Allstars at Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill
Bring your sexy sax pants (shirts optional) for the Cali jazz/funk/soul/dance allstars performing at Gas Monkey this weekend. Austin’s Brownout opens. — CG
Labretta Suede & the Motel 6at Three Links
The New Zealand-based outfit has found a way to marry the sleazed-up sounds of ’70s rock with the rockabilly/burlesque sensibilities of sexually ferocious frontwoman Labretta Suede. The Killer Hearts and badass new Dallas punk trio Lizzie Boredom open. — CG
Steve-O at Addison Improv
The ability to staple his balls to his leg and stand up and tell jokes in front of people? Is there anything this man can’t do? He’ll be here all weekend, folks. — CG
The Vape Showcase at Dallas Market Hall
Vaping. For better or more likely worse, it’s an activity with which we’re all familiar in 2016. If you’ve been living under a rock for the last few years, here’s but a short primer: Vaping is an act that involves inhaling and exhaling a synthetic water vapor through an electronic cigarette. It’s often regarded as a safer alternative to traditional cigarettes, although that remains some murky territory. One thing that’s not up for debate: It’s a practice that, for all of its enthusiasm, has spawned mass ridicule and countless internet memes. Yes, vaping is a highly divisive practice, but there’s a niche appeal to it: A sport has even evolved from its popularity, with laughably large prizes being handed out to those who can blow the biggest plumes. Dallas, perhaps not surprisingly, is that sport’s epicenter. And home to this three-day vape convention. It’s gonna blow — literally! — CC
Saturday
Dierks Bentley at Gexa Energy Pavilion
Following the massive success of 2014’s “Drunk on a Plane,” red dirt and bro country hybrid Dierks Bentley pretty much re-made the same song in even more massively successful “Somewhere on a Beach” earlier this year. I guess if it ain’t broke… — CG
Summerthon II at Shipping & Receiving
Summer is coming to a close but not for the Wizardvizion crew. They’re back with the second edition of their Summerthon and coming in hot with a lineup 12-plus acts deep, headed by Del the Funky Homosapien and backed by some of our favorite local acts like Pearl Earl, Sam Lao, Blue, the Misfit and War Party. Kick back in their multiple pools, slide down a giant water slide, and throw back some Jell-O shots, because y’all are sending the season off in style with an all day party. — Hannah Steiner
We Are Mopar Car Show at Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill
Whether your taste for automobiles lie in the vintage or modern realm, all are invited to partake in this car show centered around all things Mopar. — CC
Bad Sports (Album Release) at Armoury D.E.
Bad Sports released a new 12-inch record this past Friday, a feat they’ll celebrate at this sure-to-be-uncomfortably-packed show. Originally conceived as three separate singles, the seven-track release finds the band at its darkest and weirdest, says its Dirtnap label — and catchier than ever, too. Further packing them in will be Radioactivity and Party Static. — CG
Dale Watson at Longhorn Ballroom
Dale Watson; revered as a “true country troubadour,” “chicken shit bingo pioneer” and “keeper of the flame,” but above all, he’s a bona-fide country legend. — CC
Kenny Rogers at Verizon Theatre
For more than five decades, Kenny Rogers has made an indelible mark on the face of popular music; winning award after award and the hearts of many. But for Rogers’ high acclaim, there’s probably more than a few teenagers who can’t recognize him, let alone know his name. More for the fans, I guess. — CC
Star Wars Night at Dr Pepper Ballpark
Aside from the Star Wars promotion, this game represents the one and only game the ballpark’s new lazy river feature in the outfield will be open this season. — CG
Dreamless at Ochre House Theater
Justin Locklear has been a regular in Dallas’ theatre scene for a good few years now. Although, calling Locklear an actor is really only giving him partial credit. The Baylor graduate dabbles in everything from writing to directing. Soon he’ll debut his self-penned play Dreamless, which will be around for a two-week period at Ochre Theatre House. It closes September 10. — CC
Ride For Dime at Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill
On December 8, 2004, Dimebag Darrell was shot and murdered onstage while performing with Damageplan at the Alrosa Villa in Columbus, Ohio. Soon thereafter Ride For Dime was created to honor Darrell and the charitable organizations the Pantera guitarist expressed interest in. Every year, Ride For Dime puts on a tribute motorcycle ride to a concert to commemorate Darrell’s untimely passing, which will hit Gas Monkey this Saturday. — CC
Flynt Flossy at The Prophet Bar
Flynt Flossy is the founder of Turquoise Jeep Records and the creative mind behind the quasi-ironic YouTube videos “Lemme Smang It” and “Did I Mention I Like to Dance.” 10 million views later and Flynt Flossy is making the tour rounds to see how his own tracks fair live. — CC
North Texas State Fair and Rodeo at North Texas State Fairgrounds
Performances from Steve Wariner and Sunny Sweeney, a tractor pull, rodeo and Bengal tiger encounter are among Saturday’s fair attractions. — CG
Bonehouse at The Wild Detectives
Bonehouse is back at The Wild Detectives with a lineup of poetry that is meant to be heard. Listeners are invited to participate. — CC
Whiskey Folk Ramblers at Granada Theater
After you enjoy the infectious folk stylings of Dallas’ very own Parallel Play, Whiskey Folk Ramblers will keep the energy going with its booze-soaked, ground pounding anthems. This is Parallel Play’s last-ever gig, so let’s make this one count. — CC
Knifight, Honor System, Hello! Scenic Dreams at Crown and Harp
Austin’s own Knifight is bringing its electronic-heavy, post-industrial offering three hours north to Dallas. The audio-visual onslaught of Honor System opens, as does Hello! Scenic Dreams. — CG
Spiritual Bat, Awen, Aztec Death at Double Wide
Mingling goth aesthetics with the morbidly textured energies of post-punk, Spiritual Bat is an Italian duo whose music conveys the darkness of its all-black wardrobe. — CC
Noogy, I Am Clark Kent, Jesus Chris + The Beetles at Midway Craft House
Three’s definitely a crowd, but that won’t be the case over at Midway Craft House; where three up-and-coming musical acts are set to perform. I mean, yes, there will be a crowd there but it won’t, um, yeah I’ll just stop. — CC
’90s Sing-Along at Alamo Drafthouse (Cedars)
We’ve been to this before, and trust us when we say that it was way awesome. — AJ
Kyle Craft at City Tavern
Kyle Craft once took an idle trip to his local K-Mart in a remote Louisiana town on the banks of Mississippi. On that shopping visit, Craft stumbled upon a David Bowie hits compilation. The rest is history. — CC
Sunday
Ruby the Rabbitfoot at Three Links
With the release of this year’s Divorce Party, the Athens-based singer-songwriter has taken a huge leap into the indie-pop territory. There’s big sounding electronic drums, synths and spacey, Autotuned backing vocals, pretty much everything you’d expect from a great, modern day pop record, really. — CG
North Texas State Fair and Rodeo at North Texas State Fairgrounds
A performance by La Reunion Nortena and a Little Miss & Little Mister beauty pageant are among Sunday’s big draws. — CG
“Your Boy” at The Safe Room
A short walk up the Texas Theatre’s stairs will take you to The Safe Room, a compact art space with numerous galleries to inspect every week. This week, something called “Your Boy” will be The Safe Room’s main attraction, an exhibition where Jeremy Elizabeth Johnson will display some of his charming illustrations. — CC
Amulets, Atop, Cinema, Lawrence Lawrence at Spinster Records
Dallas Distortion Music organizes shows with the outlier market in mind. Over at Spinster Records, the Dallas-based music entity will present a night of abstract ambient works by Amulets, Cinema, Atop and Lawrence Lawrence. — CC
Carrie Rodriguez at Kessler Theater
Singer-songwriter Carrie Rodriguez blends together traditional Americana and Chicano sound to make her music. Her songs range from modern original compositions to older Spanish folk songs, all of which feature her deeply expressive voice and fantastic instrumentation, usually including her fiddle. She’s a treasure and a delight. — Paul Wedding
Eve 6 at The Live Oak
Just the other day, we were saying to ourselves, “I wonder what ever happened to that one band whose song they played 14 times at our high school graduation? I guess here’s our answer. Here’s to the night. — CG
The Thing at Alamo Drafthouse (Richardson)
Kurt Russel and his beautifully bushy beard stars in John Carpenter’s crazed homage to B-movie science fiction, The Thing. Bring a barf bag. — CC
Nosferatu the Vampyre at Alamo Drafthouse (Cedars)
Not the eerily primitive 1922 Nosferatu, but the 1979 rendition. In this adaptation, Vampire Count Orlok expresses interest in a new residence, whilst on the prowl for a real estate agent wife. — CC
Far East Movement at Bungalow Beach Club
Before the groups most well-known track, “Like a G6,” began to take over the world, Far East Movement’s original claim to fame was its single, “Round Round,” which appeared on the shows like Gossip Girl and CSI, and eventually wound up becoming the official song for The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. In recent years, the group toured with acts like Rihanna and Lil Wayne. Now they’re appearing at an upscale Dallas pool party. — Jordyn Walters
Lake and Bake at Joe Pool Lake
Last month’s attempt by DFW NORML to hold this “green” event at Lake Grapevine was shut down by that city’s police department. So they’re giving ‘er another go in Grand Prairie. — CG