Donkey Punch The Night.

The owner of Facebook annoyance Candy Crush Saga was just bought for $5.9 billion. That's billion. With a “b.”

How that's possible, we're not entirely sure, but it makes us feel like we're doing something wrong with our lives. Big picture, that might be true. In the here and now, though, at least we know we're doing tonight right. Here's how to follow our lead. — Cory Graves

Puscifer at Majestic Theatre
In a Phoenix New Times story from last week that's been taken way out of context, Maynard James Keenan said — more or less, anyway — that he could give a fuck about Tool fanatics, who are both “insufferable” and “retarded.” To anyone that's actually read the story, it's apparent that he's not trying to alienate the band's core fan base. At the same time, he's pretty adamant about the fact that he's, like, way more into his solo project, Puscifer, and making wine these days than Tool. — CG

Dallas Mavericks vs Toronto Raptors at American Airlines Center
Odds makers have projected that the 2015 Dallas Mavericks will win fewer than 40 games. Not ones to buy into the negative hype, the team went 2-1 on it the three-game West Coast road trip to open the season. Tonight the team welcomes a new DJ as it plays the first home game of the season. — CG

Bianca Del Rio's Rolodex of Hate Comedy Special at Texas Theatre
Insult comic, and recent RuPaul's Drag Race winner Del Rio brings her razor sharp tongue and biting Rolodex of Hate tour to Oak Cliff. Sashay away. — CG

Knuckle Puck at Sons of Hermann Halll
The wild-ass pop-punks in Chicago's Knuckle Puck make a mid-week stop in Deep Ellum tonight. Seaway, Sorority Noise and Head North open. — CG

Young Rising Sons at House of Blues
Earlier this spring, New Jersey pop singer, Halsey, and pop-rockers Young Rising Sons co-headlined a fairly well-attended show at Dada. More recently, Halsey sold out the massive South Side Ballroom, while Young Rising Sons has only moved on to House of Blues' slightly larger Cambridge Room. It's no wonder, the ladies love 'em — and by ladies, we mean high school girls. — CG

Joe Navarro at UNT
FBI body language expert is from a different generation — namely, one that involves subtle posture clues that can't be observed via text message. Through his two decades working in the counter terrorism unit, he's developed quite the interesting/distinguished lecture, too. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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