Kip Mooney
Blue Bell Is Revived and Your Texas Rangers Get Back On Track.
Welcome to D-Rated, in which we try to determine if the quality of life in Dallas and its surrounding areas is moving up or down by arbitrarily assigning point values to current events.
Ken, Doll: Things went from bad to worse for Attorney General Ken Paxton this week. First, he was booked at a Collin County jail after being indicted by a grand jury on felony security fraud charges (although he did get to skip the standard towel-draping by court order). Now, he could be held in contempt for refusing to follow the same-sex marriage law that took effect in June. See, he refused to amend the death certificate of James Stone-Hoskins to list his husband John, meaning it’s been a hell of a lot harder for the terminally ill John to get his estate in order, especially since James took his own life in January. The couple were legally married in New Mexico in 2014, but Paxton and the state's department of Health and Human Services aren’t budging because they've been diagnosed with Huge Asshole Disease, which affects a lot of politicians in the state. But those actions could have serious repercussions when he appears before U.S. District Judge Orlando Garcia next week. Minus 2 for this foolishness, Plus 3 for hopefully setting it right.
Burnt Orange, Crimson and Pinkerton: Maybe Dallas hasn't reached peak festival yet? Sure, we've got KXT's Summer Cut, Oaktopia, Untapped and a host of others. But there’s apparently room for one more! On Texas-OU weekend, a new festival called The Reunion will find Weezer, Fitz & The Tantrums and Trombone Shorty playing the big vacant lot where Reunion Arena once stood. As one of the people who braved the rain to see Bruce Springsteen there for free in April 2014, I too can tell you that it's a pretty darn great location, and one that's been way underused. It's not like we need more people crowding the streets that weekend, but, hey, who's not for more good live music? Plus 1.
Hotter Than Hell: I guess I spoke too soon about the possibility of this being a mild summer. It's hot as balls right now, and with no end in sight. All that beneficial rain we got in May might be completely undone this August as the temperatures approach 110 degrees. So just stay inside, binge on Netflix and, for God's sake, don’t leave your kids or pets in the car. Oh, and remember that it could be worse. We could be living in Iran, where it recently felt like 165 degrees. And, no, that's not a typo. Minus 110.
All Clear in Alabama: We're one step closer to getting our ice cream back! The Alabama Department of Public Health has given Blue Bell the go-ahead to start producing ice cream again at that plant. The company's Brenham plant has yet to resume production, but this means there's a good chance at us all being able to buy some gold-rimmed tubs full of heaven sooner than later. Stay tuned. Plus 112.
Lyft Me Up: It's been a long time coming, but you can now have an UberX or Lyft driver pick you up at DFW Airport. Following Love Field's lead, the app-driven car services will cut into the competition of over-priced taxis and limos. It's a big win for consumers, who have long had to deal with ride-sharing services like Super Shuttle and those ubiquitous, price-gouging Yellow Cabs. Well, that or ridiculously long train rides. Now we've got some more options, and that's a good thing. Plus 2.
Sex Offender Shuffle: Brent Jozefkowicz, a sex offender with a rap sheet a mile long, is on the loose. On Tuesday, he cut off his ankle monitor and fled the Fort Worth halfway house where he was staying. While the program has received its fair share of criticism, this is an extremely bad dude who needs to be caught as quickly as possible. Fort Worth Police are offering a $2,000 reward for information leading to his apprehension. (The last guy to pull this stunt was arrested at WinStar back in April.) Minus 2.
ABC (Adrian Beltre Cycle): After clawing their way back to .500 and sweeping the first-place Astros, Your Texas Rangers have plenty to celebrate. But it's been an especially big week for third Baseman Adrian Beltre: He became just the third player in Major League Baseball history — and the first in modern times — to hit for three cycles in his career. On Monday, he hit a single, a double, a triple and a homer to help give the Rangers a 12-9 victory. Plus 4.
This Week’s Count: Plus 8. It may be ridiculously hot out right now, but things are looking up for the Rangers and, better still, looking down for assholes.
Last Week's Running Total: Minus 18.
Current Running Total: Minus 10.
