Get In The Half-Christmas Spirit at Addison Improv.

Last week, Jeffrey Jones of Sacramento was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon. He stands accused of having thrown a spear through the front fender of a car.

In and of itself, this story is a pretty remarkable one. But it gets even better when you see the guy's Cro-Magnon-esque mug shot. Doesn't he just look like the kind of guy who'd still favor a spear in 2013?

Why, yes. Yes, he does.

We'd also argue that this story serves as a nice reminder that one should always be mindful of their surroundings when daring to venture outside of their homes. Also? Be especially wary of anyone who looks like they belong to a previous stage of human evolution.

Workaholics #HalfXmas Party at the Addison Improv
The Addison Improv celebrates Half Christmas with a screening of the Workaholics episode “The Strike,” which is based around the pseudo-holiday. The party promises to be joyous occasion complete with a “shit ton of games, exclusive prizes and chances to make an ass of yourself.” Put on your worst Christmas sweater and head north to celebrate the best fake holiday since Festivus. — Stephen Young

Portugal. the Man at House of Blues
Oregon's Portugal. the Man hits the road to showcase their latest album, Evil Friends, which finds the group collaborating with Grammy-winning producer Danger Mouse. The band's new, less-inhibited sound is a significant departure from its previous albums, deriving inspiration from hip-hop, electronica, and classics such as Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. Guards opens. — Zoe Mattioli

DJ Trigger Mortis' Birthday Pajama Party at The Double Wide
Tonight, the folks over at Double Wide celebrate Trigger's birthday with a midweek pajama party. Because nothing says white-trash like wearing footie pajamas to the bar. — SY

Live Pinterest Party
Remember that time you pinned those hand-cut glasses from beer bottles or that homemade wine chandelier and you promised yourself that, soon as you had some free time, you'd get on it? That was six months ago. Whoops! Here's your chance to bring out that inner crafting Goddess you've been ignoring for so long. Tonight's project? A scrapbook flower in various colors and styles. But there will plenty of Pinterest-inspired appetizers and cocktails, as well. — Jessica Petrocchi

Jay Chandrasekhar at Sons of Hermann Hall
Jay Chandrasekhar — Broken Lizard co-founder, film director and star of Super Troopers, Club Dread and Beerfest — brings his stand-up set to Sons of Hermann for what's sure to be a profanely hilarious show. Grab a liter of cola and head over there right meow. — SY

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