Central Track Contributor
Welcome Kelly Clarkson Home.
A scenario: You grew up in Dallas, but you went to college elsewhere, in a different state. You made a lot of friends while at school, and all of your new friends poked fun at your Texas roots. They asked if you rode a horse and buggy to school — those kinds of things. After graduating, you decided to come home to Dallas, and, before long, you had a job.
One day, you get a phone call from a friend from college. Turns out, that friend has never been to Texas — or south of Virginia, for that matter. The conversation is pleasant. You catch up, all that.
Then, suddenly, the conversation takes a turn.
“So, guess what?” your friend asks.
“What?” you dutifully reply.
Your friend continues: “I bought a plane ticket and I'm coming to visit you this weekend! Surprise! You can show me what being a true Texan is like! We can wear cowboy hats and visit some ranches or something!”
You realize that your friend's taunts weren't jokes, but sincere ignorance. Seems this griend of yours actually thinks Dallas a legitimate wild west town.
“I'm so excited!” you force out.
“Great!” your friend says. “Make sure you get some yee-haw fun things planned for us to do!”
That whole sentence makes you wince. Begrudgingly, you start planning.
Friday
North Texas Irish Festival at Fair Park
Here's what you need to know about this weekend-long celebration: There are whiskey tastings.
Aries Spears at Addison Improv
MadTV star and all-around funnyman Aries Spears won't be holding back when it comes to making everyone have a good time at this show.
Oaul Reiser at Hyena's
The Mad About You star is still alive!
Armadillo Ale Works Launch at Oak St. Drafthouse
The Denton-based brewery officially launches tonight, debuting Quakertown Stout, its first available beer, at this popular Denton watering hole.
A.Dd+ at Hailey's Club
Hey, Denton: You get a DiveHiFlyLo release show, too!
Calvin Harris at Lizard Lounge
If Harris can find love in a hopeless place like Lizard Lounge, then we'll really be impressed.
Kelly Clarkson at Verizon Theater
Burleson's Own comes home.
Hot Club of Cowtown at Live Oak Music Hall
You'd think this band of country-jazz swingers would be from Fort Worth. Alas, they're from Austin.
Whiskey Myers at Billy Bob's Texas
You'll probably end up at this tonight with your out-of-town friend so they can have a “true” honky-tonk experience. Your friend will be pleased.
Mount Righteous with Fox and the Bird at Double Wide
Don't like choral harmonies? Then, whatever you do, do not go to this show!
Jackie Chain at Elm St. Bar
Many people will misread the title of this event and be disappointed that the action-adventure martial arts movie star did not show up. Sorry, this guy's a rapper, not an actor.
Saturday
The Gingerman's Sixth Annual Chili Cookoff
“What's more Texan than beer and chili?!” Your out-of-town friend will be pleased.
Alejandro Escovedo at the Kessler Theatre
An acoustic performance from the Austin legend.
Dallas Blooms Festival at Dallas Arboretum
The Dallas Arboretum is celebrating the coming of spring with the Dallas Blooms Festival, which features all different kinds of events daily at the arboretum.
PBR Bull Riding at Cowboys Stadium
Eight seconds to glory!
Jamey Johnson at Billy Bob's Texas
Nashville country sucks. This ain't Nashville country, though.
The Chloes and others at Crown & Harp
With The Chloes, Arson State, Mrs. Howl and Red Like Heat on the bill, expect a long night of dancing.
Quaker City Night Hawks at Wild Rooster Bar
No jokes about the audacity of a band with the word “hawks” in its name playing at a bar called “Wild Rooster” are that funny, turns out.
The Auxiliary Voice and others at Prophet Bar
The atmospheric indie rock group will also be performing with Weatherbox, Rondo and Sea Engine.
Home By Hovercraft Album Release Party at Club Dada
Bethan and Datahowler will also be sharing the stage with the theatrical Home By Hovercraft, who are celebrating the release of their new album, Are We Chameleons?.
Target First Saturdays at Nasher Sculpture Center
So here's the deal: Every first Saturday of the month will be free at the Nasher. That is awesome news, no?
Goodnight Ned and Dead Flowers at Magnolia Motor Lounge
Let's just hope that the Dead Flowers put on a lively performance and that Goodnight Ned doesn't put us to sleep. (Sorry.)
Jucifer at Lola's Saloon
The Me-Thinks and RTB2 open this bill.
Sunday
Coheed and Cambria at the Palladium
Perhaps no lead vocalist sounds less like he looks than Coheed's Claudio Sanchez.
Harry Belafonte at Winspear Opera House
The “King of Calypso” will be at Winspear to make sure you have a good “Day-O.” (Again: Sorry.)
