Central Track Contributor
An Arbitrary Look At What The Stars Have In Store For You.
Welcome to our unlicensed astrological look at the week to come. We are not professional astrologists, we just have gut feelings. Take these horoscopes as you will.
Aquarius (January 20 through February 18)
If you speed on I-35E after 2 a.m., you're just asking for trouble.
Pisces (February 19 through March 20)
Wear your shorts while you still can.
Aries (March 21 through April 19)
Have you created your Amazon.com wishlist yet?
Taurus (April 20 through May 20)
Maybe he/she does like you.
Gemini (May 21 through June 20)
Brunch days are the best days.
Cancer (June 21 through July 22)
It's OK to high five yourself if no one's looking.
Leo (July 23 through August 22)
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose and, really, you can even pick your friend's nose. Just don't do it while driving. Because that's just gross and irresponsible.
Virgo (August 23 through September 22)
Egg nog isn't as good as you remembered it being.
Libra (September 23 through October 22)
School is a sham.
Scorpio (October 23 through November 21)
Bands'll make her dance.
Sagittarius (November 22 through December 21)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE NEW YEAR'S PLANS YET?!?!?!
Capricorn (December 22 through January 19)
Any day can be your diet's cheat day if you want it to be.
