Hot Diggity Dog.

How To Win $1,000 At The Stand's Hot Dog Eating Competition.

You'd like to win $1,000, right? Just by eating hot dogs? And at your neighborhood Uptown bar? Of course you would.

At 1 p.m. on Saturday, June 2, you'll get your chance as The Stand (2916 McKinney Ave.) hosts its first ever hot dog eating contest. Sure, registration is kind of steep at $25 per entrant, but that first-place cash prize of $1,000 is no joke. Plus, if you win, you'll get your picture put onto an Uptown mural.

Not a bad way to spend your Saturday afternoon, we don't think. And, listen, we here at Central Track, want to make sure you succeed and walk away with that $1,000 grand prize. So here's a step-by-step how-to for you to use on your way to winning this mofo.

1. Stretch out your stomach. Open up some room in your belly by gradually eating more and more every day leading up to the competition. Eat bulky, fibrous foods — like watermelon or cabbage.

2. Drink plenty of water. The human stomach can be stretched up to four times its normal capacity just by drinking lots of fluids. You'll have to pee a lot, but so be it.

3. Develop an eating technique that works for you. Buns and dogs separately? Buns dipped in water? None of that really matters. Just find one that puts that hot dog down fast and smooth.

4. Pack it down. Wiggle your body as you're eating. Yes, really. It will help the food move down your digestive tract and and encourage it to settle more compactly in your stomach.

5. Suppress the gag reflex. Train your mind to ignore your urge to upchuck. Competitive eating is not about taste or appetite. It is about winning!

6. Time yourself. Find out how much time the contest will give you, and clock yourself as you practice eating.

Follow these tips and, fingers crossed, you'll score that first-place prize. But, if not, don't worry. The second-place prize this weekend is $500, and third place will score $250. So you'll have three solid chances to walk away with some cold, hard cash.

Click here to register for Saturday's contest.

Oh, and good luck deep-throating those wieners!

Photo by Lord Khan.