Remembering The Lives Of Longboards, Crushing It, Hashtags, LMFAO and Mashups.
By Cory on Wednesday September 26 2012 at 3:05 PM
Each week, dozens of memes, trends and pop culture items die quiet, unceremonious deaths.
We'd like to publicly give these dead trends the proper memorials they deserve.
Then, we kindly request that we never speak of them again.
Longboards passed on (the left) on September 25, 2012, after a long, downhill struggle with health problems. He leaves behind a whole garage full of trucks he was in the process of repairing. He was a hospitable sort, always down to let friends crash at his pad, even when dropping in unannounced. Longboards was preceded in death by his parents, Razor Scooters and Quad Skates, and an uncle, Paddle Boards. He is survived by a grandfather, Surfboards, and his sisters Fixies and Cruisers.
Born in March 2006, Crushing It departed this life on September 23, 2012. An extremely competitive person, friends and family often found it best just to let him win so as to avoid his hollow verbal wrath. Crushing It was preceded in death by a grandfather Nailed It, a grandmother, Aced It, a father, pwn3d, a mother, Killed It, and a brother, And Boom Goes The Dynamite. He is survived by a son, Pow Pow! In lieu of flowers the family asks, "Is that the best you got?"
Hashtags, born August 27, 2007, #died on September 22, 2012. He loved hanging out with his large circle of friends, who often admired his ability to stay up on the latest trends. He also thoroughly enjoyed making phone calls, numbering things, writing music and, most of all, playing tic-tac-toe. Hashtags was preceded in #death by his parents, Pilcrows and Ditto Marks, and a brother, Asterisks. He is survived by his father, Chris Messina.
LMFAO, 6, was shot shot shot to death on September 21, 2012. Always aware of just how sexy they were, their confidence and positivity were infectious. Upon departing this life, their last words were "Sorry for party rocking." LMFAO was preceded in death by their mother, ROTFL. They are survived by their father, Berry Gordy, and a nephew, Gangnam Style. A brief memorial service will be held on September 27, 2012, in Miami, bitch.
Mashups, born in 1994, died suddenly on September 19, 2012, after getting mixed up with the wrong crowd. Mashups had an immediately likable quality that had a way of making new acquaintances feel instantly familiar. Not a sharp dresser, he was often known to mix and match outfits and was frequently seen in public wearing two distinctly different colored socks. Mashups was preceded in death by their grandparents The Evolution Control Committee, their parents Chopped and Screwed, their uncle Turntablism, and a son called Glitch Pop. They are survived by an aunt, Remixes, and a cousin, Sound Collages.