Three Links ButtonCity TavernMargin Walker Calendar - DallasMaria Bamford at The Majestic!Maria Bamford Live!
Crush Of The Week.

Crush Of The Week.

Fiesta Mart, You're The Life Of The Party.

By Cory on Tuesday, August 21, 2012 at 3:22 PM

What's up, Fiesta Mart?

Not much here. Your name came up in conversation with a group of my friends the other day and we just wanted to let you know we were thinking about you. And, right now, looking out at the rain dripping down the windows in our office, it's hard to not wish we were hanging out with you right now instead, enjoying some of your fresh horchata.

Maybe it's just because you're so thoughtful: Not only do you provide us with a drink that tastes like the milk left in the bottom of our bowls after all the Cinnamon Toast Crunch is gone, but you make sure it's in our hands before we take more than three steps into your doors.

Sure, we don't always take you up on that horchata offer, but don't get offended. It's just because we had some raspado in the parking lot a couple of minutes ago.

Anyway, the real reason we wanted to get in touch with you was to tell you that we don't think you get the recognition you deserve. Sure, our friends bring up Whole Foods and Central Market all the time in casual conversation, but, to us, you have so much more to offer than those guys.

For instance, we've never walked into a Central Market and seen a clown making subvertly phallic balloon animals. And, hey, we've never bought gold jewelry or wired some money while shopping in a Whole Foods.

Let's face it, though: Groceries are your real bread and butter.

Sorry for the bad pun there, Fiesta Mart, but you just put us in a giddy mood.

As hot sauce connoisseurs, we really appreciate that there is a different kind of hot sauce on pretty much every aisle, and the fact that, when we ask one of our employees where the salsa is, they simply reply "everywhere" with a confused expression on their face.

It's adorable.

Oh, and how could we forget about your boldness -- perhaps our favorite of your many good qualities. Stop being modest -- you know it takes a certain level of gumption to stock whole frozen cow heads in your store.

What we think we admire most, though, is the way you don't hide those suckers in the deli. You just stack them right in the freezer section, right next to the fish sticks. Oh, and the way you throw a cute little "cabeza de vaca" label on them so as not to sound extra creepy is beyond endearing. It makes us grin every time we see it.

Anyway, we hope you're well, and we just wanted to let you know how much you mean to us. We never knew before that we could fall so hard for a grocery store.

But what did we expect, really, from a place whose name literally translates to "party" in English?

Keep it up Fiesta Mart, and we'll see you next meat month.

The Central Track Staff.