Remembering The Lives Of Volleyball, FAIL, Overly-Studded Clothing, YOLO And Brostep.
By Cory on Wednesday, August 8, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Each week, dozens of memes, trends and pop culture items die quiet, unceremonious deaths.
We'd like to publicly give these dead trends the proper memorials they deserve. Then, we kindly request that we never speak of them again.
Volleyball, 117, died suddenly around 12:45 p.m. Sunday afternoon August 5, 2012, while attending a charity event at the Fraternal Order of Eagles. She was a talented athlete, appearing in every Olympic Games since 1964. Volleyball was no saint, making several kills every time she competed, but it didn't seem to bother most who knew her. In fact, Volleyball often went unnoticed much of her life. She was preceded in death by her father Badminton and her sisters Water Polo and Whirly Ball. In honor of her passing, all sand courts will have their nets raised to half mast on Saturday July, 11.
FAIL, born on July 22, 2003, passed away on August 3, 2012. After spending much of his earlier years living in the shadow of his older brother All Your Base Are Belong To Us, he finally began a successful career of his own when he was hired by the Cheezeburger Network. His newfound wealth allowed him to financially support the 215 children and grandchildren he was blessed with. He is survived by his youngest son Aqua Dome Kid and daughter-in-law Facemath. He was preceded in death by his eldest son, Epic Fail. In lieu of flowers, the family is asking for donations to help fix FAIL's misspelled headstone.
Overly-Studded Clothing entered eternal rest on August 1, 2012. Beginning life in the late '70s as a big player in the emerging leather-clad metal community, Overly-Studded Clothing proved to be popular throughout her life. After being given months to live in 1983, she managed to live another 28 years. Her family sites her sticktoitiveness for helping her hang on all these years. Through it all, she was versatile, maintaining her youthful persona by consistently surrounding herself with a much younger crowd, from glam to emo kids and hipsters. She was preceded in death by her mother Rhinestones and daughter the Bedazzler. The family is holding a memorial denim studding party on August 17 at Urban Outfitters.
YOLO, 8, died after complications that arose after an attempt to best the hardboiled egg challenge from the film Cool Hand Luke.
It was just one of hundreds of crazy experiences YOLO crammed into his brief-yet-full life. Though he will only live once, his memory will live on in the form of a song by the popular rock band The Strokes, and in the forms of small memorial tattoos being sported by the masses of people touched by YOLO's never-say-die attitude. He was preceded in death by his father Live Like You Were Dying, his mother Live Life To The Fullest, and brother Just Keep Livin'. He is succeeded by a son 'Til Death Do Us Party.
Brostep, born in 2011, passed away on August 7, 2012. Dying at such a young age, Brostep never learned to speak, instead relying on a series of "womp womps" and "wobble wobbles" to communicate. Though he was a brilliant dancer, he was not terribly well-liked, and found he had few friends outside of the dudebros that he enjoyed punch-fighting in the parking lot. He was preceded in death by his great-grandfather Reggae, his grandfather Dub, his father Dubstep and his mother Drum and Bass. Brostep is succeeded by a throbbing headache and a handful of Advil. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you please just be quiet for, like, five minutes.