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Time To Pull Those Pants Up, Dallas. Yes, Again.

By Pete on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 2:50 PM

Welcome to D-Rated, our weekly feature that tries to determine if things are looking up or down for Dallasites by arbitrarily assigning point values to current events.

Vote or die: Your Texas Rangers are dominating the American League All-Star voting this year, and could have as many as five starters at this year's midsummer classic. Coincidentally, that's how many people it takes to finish one of the $26 hot dogs sold at their home park. Plus 5.

Gotta hand it to him: A man without hands is upset with Six Flags because they wouldn't let him ride their roller coasters. Can't a guy get a fair shake? Minus 2.

To the victor: A new study reveals that Dallas children are the sixth most-spoiled in the country. And we wonder why all the girls we meet ask about our incomes. Minus 24.

Go local: We'll be paying a combined $1.2 million in taxes so Dallas will, in fact, keep shooting in Dallas. In addition to drama, TNT also knows extortion. Minus 1.2.

Shut it down: A year ago this week, Your Dallas Mavericks were crowned NBA Champions. Take dat witchew. Plus 1.

Horse play: Someone went to the effort of forging an SMU diploma and staging a fake graduation. But he only had some bullshit major. Plus 1.

Panting heavily: Dallas City Council member Dwayne Caraway is fighting the sagging pants epidemic again. Yet another win for belt lobbyists. Minus 1.

Out, right: The senior pastor at Dallas' Friendship-West Baptist Church, backs President Barack Obama's support of same-sex marriage. Friendship is a virtue, indeed. Plus 20.

Move it, move it: Dallas is currently the sixth-most-popular moving destination in the country, according to a new study. Maybe GCB didn't ruin our reputation as badly as we'd thought. Plus 6.

Last week's total: Minus .54
This week's count: Plus 4.8
This week's running total: Plus 4.26