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This Week, Dallas Really Hung In There.

By Pete on Thursday, May 31, 2012 at 10:05 AM

Welcome to D-Rated, our weekly feature that tries to determine if things are looking up or down for Dallasites by arbitrarily assigning point values to current events.

I'm only happy when it cranes: Did you all hear about this guy who spent an entire -- and sweltering, mind you -- day in a standoff with the Dallas Police Department while perched in a crane hundreds of feet above SMU's campus? It ended with him falling to his death. Reports say it started downtown the night before, when he stole a car. More like stole our hearts, amirite? Minus 1.

Bull chic: Travel + Leisure says Dallas is the sixth-worst-dressed city in America. Are they not turned on by our deep Vs? Minus 6.

The truth is out there: A missing NASA telescope was found near Dallas this week. Thankfully, no one followed the Reese's Pieces trail to our apartment, where we're hosting this pretty bodacious little dude that cross-dresses and sometimes makes our bikes fly. Plus 500.

Growing pains: According to new population estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau, Dallas is the fastest-growing city in America. The city gains a new resident every four minutes, no joke. But, like, whatever, we liked Dallas before it got big. Plus 4.

Rockin' the suburbs: Denton, Frisco and Gainesville are in the running for various titles in Rand McNally and USA Today's poll of the best small towns in America. See, it's not the size of the North Texas town that matters, it's how you use it. Plus 3.

Oak smoke: An Oak Cliff man was set on fire in front of his home. That's a thing everyone who lives there is cool with, right? Minus 451.

Fat tires: In addition to being one of the worst cities for bicyclists, Dallas can now proudly proclaim itself as one of the least fit cities in America, too. But, hey, at least we're progress on that whole bike thing, maybe. Push.

Soulless: KKDA fired most of its on-air talent this week -- including local legends and A.M. radio institutions Bobby Patterson and R.L. Griffin. There's no joke for this item. For years, KKDA-730 AM Soul 73 has been the most consistent radio station in town, always on-point with its soul music selections. Now a computer will pick the songs. This is truly the end of an era, and some seriously tragic local music and radio news. Minus 73.

Check, please: A new study released this week revealed that residents of Dallas eat out almost 70 percent more than residents of any other city in America, no lie. And I bet they don't even factor in 7-Eleven taquitos when they put these kinds of figures together. Minus 7.

Last week's total: Plus 11. 71
This week's count: Minus 31.
This week's running total: Minus 19.29.